Days on were monotonous and there was an abrupt change in Haru's attitude towards Jungkook that appalled him but made him euphoric. There was no denying that she had accepted the fact that she had been raped by the love of her life and there was no solace or softer term for that. She knew she needed him, and there is no point running away because that would only scathe her baby. So she resorted to taking his help whenever required. But nothing more.
He felt care deprived, love deprived and even to an extent life deprived. Seeing no expressions on her face when she talks to him as if she were talking to a stranger made him despondent and dysphoric. But he carried it with all his strength even though he knew, it was killing him inside.
He knew, earlier when she completely ignored him, she was somewhere disbelieving and had a soft corner for him. But now, even after they were conversing, a little but yes, he knew that she had lost her hope in blatant terminology of 'love'.
But does accepting the truth makes the pain less? Even after accepting the fact that she was raped, it doesn't alleviate her nightmares, her social anxiety and losing herself in the stream of past memories. Honestly, she was more struck by the fact that it was Jungkook who did it. Someone, she entrusted her future in.
Little did she know, it was not only killing her, but it was also killing him too. His conscience was assaulted to an extent that he hated looking at himself. Taking all the hate he received, he just existed for her. Sneaking into her room at night to sing for her because she knew she needed it, Lying to provide her with things she loved and satisfying her needs, these were the only moments he felt a purpose in his life. But this was taking a serious toll on his mental and physical health.
Anyone could notice the big dark patches underneath his eyes. His body was almost always exhausted owing to the multiple sleepless nights. His vocals were affected due to constant straining and this was highly unacceptable in his career as an idol.
•••
Hoseok monitored over choreography as the rest of the six boys swiftly moved on the beats. Jungkook's stance faltered making him crumple down on the wall.
Everyone rushed to him with a violent concern.
"Jungkook," Taehyung passed once, supporting him up and making him sit against the wall. Yoongi came up with a water bottle, opening the cap and then passing it to the maknae who took small sips.
"Gguk, this is the fourth time in this week that you have almost fainted. I think we should consult a doctor," Seokjin expressed his concern.
"Is something troubling you? Are you having an altercation with Haru? Or anything that is making you stressed? You know you can talk to us," Taehyung remarked while Jungkook shook his head in denial while the former could just sigh.
"Jungkook, do you want me to stay with you tonight since Haru won't be there?" Jimin asked making Jungkook furrow his brows in confusion.
"She won't be there?" He asked in a low voice owing to the exhaust.
"Yeah, she is staying at Yoona's. The three of them, Yoona, Mia and Haru," he passed making him feel nothing but dismay. She never tells him about her life, the same girl who used to even share the time she had her periods or when she waxed.
"No need Hyung. I'll manage," he answered.
"If you say so."
"Okay guys, rest all continue. Jungkook can sit here for a while," Namjoon grunted, collecting every one of them.
•••
Haru sat on the blue sheets of the hospital bed. Her hair was a mess, loosely tied behind in a low ponytail. Her baby blue eyes lovingly showered innumerable hugs to the newborn in her embrace. Her smile was growing by its own accord and she looked so mesmerizing and enticing to him who stood at the door.
He took in the scene that melted his heart. Everything was hazy but so enthralling. He could not really feel the tears that trickled down his cheeks, his own smile paining them. He measured his war up to the mother and baby. The two people he loved more than this world.
As he reached for the baby, she pulled it back, burying it in her chest.
His smile faltered and perplexity overtook his face.
"Don't touch my baby," she grunted.
"B-But-"
"Shut up Jungkook," Jimin spoke from behind.
"You have no right! I never knew I raised up a monster," his mother made her presence.
"You are a rapist, you are a goddam rapist!" Namjoon too thwarted in.
"Kook, I never expected this from you. I even despise calling you my friend," Taehyung refrained to have eye contact with him.
Jungkook sniffled, rubbing his nose once, tears running down, "I am sorry. It was a mistake. I-"
"No Jungkook," Suga entered, "this is not a mistake. It was a sin."
"I agree," Hoseok added.
"Were you always this monstrous. I judged you so wrong," Seokjin expressed through gritted teeth.
"I cannot believe you are the same Jungkook, my childhood best friend," Mia grunted, accompanied by Yoona who had a disgusted expression plastered on his face.
Jungkook fell on his knees, pleading and begging. He just wanted to look at his newborn. He wanted to embrace it, kiss it, love it but he was hindered. Suddenly the purpose of his life faded in mist and everything was hazy, white and he could see all his relations drifting apart.
"Stop. Please don't leave me. Don't leave me all alone," he wailed.
"DON'T," he woke up after a devastating nightmare. Sweat was covering his forehead and his breath was heavy. His chest heaving up and down. His palms covered his face in distress. It was already morning, without realising he had slept a little over the schedule. But the first thought that made him utterly disturbed was - she suffers from this phenomenon of nightmares almost every day and if experiencing it once made him so despondent. Her mental health must be deteriorating.
His phone rang in between, the caller id being Yoona.
[Hello?]
He greeted in a suppressed voice. He was still not over his nightmare.
[Oh Kook? Are you okay?
Your voice sounded like gravel!]
[I am fine noona. Any
reasons for calling?]
[Can you please
pick up Haru from here. Cause
I have to go with Chim somewhere
and Mia will be going back to
her father after this. And I
do not want her to go alone.
It's the end of the fifth month-]
[I know. I'll be there in a
few minutes.]
[Okay. You can take your
time. There's no hurry.]
[Mhm.]
Call ended.
He quickly got up, leaving all his stress on the bed itself. He was a responsible man indeed.
YOU ARE READING
Nine Months
Fanfiction'I will break my own heart and use those pieces to fix yours.' Jeon Jungkook, a k-pop idol from the world renowned band BTS is married to the love of his life, Lee Haru - a professional actress. But it wasn't any normal marriage, for Haru hated him...
