The Drumbeat Years (girlxgirl)

6

6

9th. June 1989

For a few weeks, upon returning to college after the New Year, Tina put her frustrations into performing her work. Then, after a while, it all began to peter out. Much to her surprise, Dawn had said nothing about the kiss. No-one on campus treated her any different. No accusations. No threats. No bullying. It was as though it had never happened. Tina knew it had, however, and that guilt had coiled inside her, chewing at her insides, until she finally decided to not care about anything anymore.

Dawn had left. Mrs Baines had returned. Everything had changed and, yet, everything remained exactly the same. For a short while, Tina had bought gig listings, searching for the name of Dawn's band, but she never found it. The band, along with Dawn, had disappeared, leaving a hole in Tina's life that threatened to swallow her, dragging her down into a silent, solitary darkness.

Not even the results for the story competition could pull her from the emotional mire she had created for herself. She had read the letter, received only a week ago, and put it away in a drawer, placing several other objects on top of it, as though that could hide it all the better. More than once she had opened the drawer, only to slam it closed and throw herself onto her bed.

Now, in the middle of the day, she had wandered away from campus as she had taken to doing once again. Even Kyle had suffered from her low mood and they had seen each other less and less. She couldn't face going to Brownies, to find herself among so many students that had taken their studies seriously. She doubted she could take anything seriously any more.

The tinkling bell above the door to the shop announced the arrival of another customer and Tina shuffled around, facing the shelves. The shopkeeper, Barry, knew her well, by now. Over the years she had become a regular customer for all things fantasy. From AD&D modules and supplements, to books, even comics. She had spent a lot of time in this shop and had still only ever played one game.

"Dude." Barry's customary greeting to everyone, broke the silence.

"Dude." The reply came and Tina's back stiffened. She knew that voice. "She here?"

"Other side of that stack. She's been reading the same Forgotten Realms book for hours." Barry had lowered his voice, but it still carried. Floating around and around in the air, flittering through the collected pages and figurines. "She's wearing a dress, Dude. I've never seen her wear a dress. It's weird, right?"

"Yup. A dress. Weird. Cool. Cool." Kyle, of course, didn't bother to lower his voice.

She didn't move. At the mention of her dress, she looked down at the skirts covering her crossed legs. She didn't think it was that weird. She felt certain she had worn dresses before to come to the shop. And in the presence of Kyle. With an absent-minded hand, she tugged the dress' hem to cover knees that were already covered, anticipating the arrival of Kyle around the end of the stack.

He didn't say a word, which seemed so unlike Kyle. Instead, he sat beside her, crossing his own legs, placing his bag onto his lap. Still silent, he picked up a couple of game modules and began flicking through the pages. He wasn't a fan of role-playing games, though he didn't hate them, either. From the corner of her eye, she watched him. He had something to tell her. Kyle, for all his outgoing brashness, with her, always seemed to lose his voice when he needed to appear serious.

"Well?" She caught him looking at her dress and raising an eyebrow. "I thought it was time for a change. Alright? Maybe if I acted normal, like other girls, I might feel normal. Become normal."

"What's so good about normal?" He dropped the booklets back onto a pile and brushed his long hair over his ears. He pointed to the booklets he had dropped. "Your stuff is so much better. Full and rich and alive. Speaking of alive ..."