The Drumbeat Years (girlxgirl)

13

**TW: Foul language and references to drug abuse**

13

26th. August 1994

Rushing. Rushing and panicking. Fingers scratched her scalp as she glared around the room. It felt strange feeling her hair as short as it was. For some reason, she would never understand why, she had marched into the hairdressing salon and asked for a 'Pixie cut'. It felt like the right time for a change and she no longer used her hair as a self-defence mechanism, anyway. University had changed her.

Dropping to the floor, she lifted the bed covers, hanging over the edge, wrinkled and unmade since she had woken up that morning. She still couldn't find her favourite, bright red, Doc Martens boots. She had packed everything else. Without those boots, she would feel naked. Exposed. They made her taller. They felt heavy and right on her feet. They made her feel safe.

"Kyle!" Sitting back on her bare feet, she called out with her least infuriated voice. It wasn't his fault she tended to drop her things wherever she stood. "Kyle! Where are my boots?"

"Where did you last see them?" His voice curled up from downstairs in the shared accommodation.

"If I knew that, I wouldn't be asking!" Jumping up, she checked inside her wardrobe. Again. "If I'm late, I'll never forgive myself. I haven't seen her much in the last few weeks, but this is our anniversary. We've had it planned for months! If I'm late ..."

A boot dropped beside her, followed by another, and Kyle stood at her door, grinning. Either he knew all along where they were, or had found them on his first try. Either way, Tina hated/loved him for it. Picking up one of the boots, she kissed the shiny, red toe cap, before giving Kyle a hug. Then she slapped his chest, trying not to grin herself.

"One was behind the sofa, the other by the door." He rubbed his chest, acting as though she had stabbed him. "I swear, I'm going to stop running around after you if you don't start being more tidy. I live here, too, you know."

"Lifesaver." Dropping on the bed, she began pulling on the boots. Looking up, she saw Kyle's face turn from glee at her torment, to a little too serious for him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Almost nothing. Probably nothing." He waved a hand, as though that explained everything and then broke down at her mother-like stare. "Well, it's just ... don't you think she's been a bit ... off, lately? Ever since vacation started. Usually, she's here all the time. And now ..."

"She's been busy. Her course is pretty intense, you know. She's probably been getting classwork out of the way so we can be undisturbed." Her eyes flickered away from his questioning gaze and she put extra effort in tying the ridiculously long laces of her boots. "It's fine. Everything's fine and this time away will be good for us."

"If you say so." He began to turn away, stopped and gave her a sad look, before heading back downstairs.

That was odd. Odd and not at all like Kyle. If he had to say something, he would usually say it. It was one of those things that she loved so much about him. He didn't dither and talk around the houses but, when he did say something, it was never with the intent to hurt anyone. Not for the first time, she wished Kyle was a woman. A more perfect partner she could never hope to meet.

Except the obvious other person. The one she had finally stopped thinking about after meeting Emma, the year before.

Casting those thoughts aside, she picked up the rucksack, filled with everything she could possibly need, and more besides, and set out to meet Emma at the train station. A quick peck on Kyle's cheek and she almost skipped out of the door. After so many years of thinking she would never meet anyone that she could bear to spend more than a few weeks with, finding Emma, falling in love and becoming partners had changed Tina's entire outlook on life.