!TW Self Harm, Eating disorders, Swearing, Suicidal Thoughts, and Voices TW!
(POV: Wilbur)
The voices would also make me do things like hurt myself in many different ways such as: burning, cutting, starving, etc. There is a whole list I could keep going on and on.
There was one night where Phil yelled at me for forgetting to put crackers in Tommy's lunch, and I don't know why but Phil has been extra on-edge lately and I could feel my fake smiles starting to fade as I got more and more drained by the people who surrounded me.
That one night where I got yelled at caused me to run down to my room and have a full on panic-attack I got dizzy and my vision started to blur, so I grabbed the pencil sharpener blade I unscrewed that I hid under a can of peace tea and made an incision on my calf, about an inch long. Somehow that helped me enough to be able to breathe so much better now the calming effect it had was blissful and my vision started to go back to normal and I layed down in my bed, searching for something more to do. As I was looking around just from where I was laying I noticed my journal at the foot of my bed and had the idea that writing would most-likely help me organise my thoughts, but just the movement it would take to reach over and grab it was unmotivating but I still did it in hopes to calm down completely.
When I grabbed it I opened it up to find an empty page, the second I wrote down the first word I went into a panic again, I started shaking and hyperventilating and the voices started yelling at me again but in a way they were telling me to write everything down it was almost like I was unconscious but I was writing down the thing they were screaming at me:
"USELESS!
USELESS!
USELESS!
USELESS!
USELESS!
YOUR JUST FUCKING USELESS!
USELESS!
IT'S ALL JUST PITTY!
IT'S ALL JUST PITTY!
IT'S ALL JUST PITTY!
IT'S ALL JUST PITTY!
NO ONE ACTUALLY CARES ABOUT YOU! IT'S ALL JUST PITTY BECAUSE YOUR MOM IS DEAD!
NO ONE WOULD ACTUALLY BE SAD IF YOU JUST TOOK YOUR LIFE!
JUMP OF THE BRIDGE!
DRINK THE HYDROGEN PEROXIDE!
SLIT YOUR WRISTS YOU BITCH! WE KNOW YOU WON'T DO IT!
SELFISH PIECE OF SHIT!
IT'S BETTER OFF IF YOU WERE DEAD!
EVERYONE WOULD BE HAPPIER WITH YOU GONE!"
It all got scribbled onto the paper, tears leaking through it. But deep down I knew "They would be better off without me.".
YOU ARE READING
Wilbur Angst
FanfictionI have been reading to much angst for my own good so now im writing it. Heavy trigger warnings: SH, ED, mention of suicide, suicide, voices
