TejRan Post BB15

Me time

Teju- dont shout. Even i can.

Kk- I never asked u for marriage cos i know what u think of me. U think i will end the relationship in 2-3yrs. Cos thats how my earlier relationship have lasted.

Teju- I never said that. Who told u this?

Kk- U.

Teju- When?

Kk- when we were in maldives. U told me all this after u got drunk.

Kk- Do u know how that makes me feel. I have given everything to this relationship yet u have an underlying doubt about me.

Kk- U tell me u dont care or judge me about my past but u eventually did.

Kk- I always told u what we had was v different from my past. The reason i m standing here to solve things should show how much i care.

Teju- Just cos u came to solve things?
I have also come to solve many times.

Kk- You know in my mind i m married to u. I see our future. I see us. But i dunno if u do.

Kk- i m scared to ask cos i cant loose you. I can deal with heartbreak but cant loose u. I thought If marriage bothers u then i rather have u as my gf my whole life.

Teju- Who said i wasnt ready? U decide these things by urself. U overthink n make decision for both of us.  Like what i should say n not say.

Teju- U think i dont think about our future. I do. But i m shit scared. Yes i looked into your past. I had told u that it didnt bother me but it does

Kk- I cant change the past. I m who i am cos of my past.

Teju- I m scared that u will loose interest in me cos i m not philosophical like u. I m not a model or have big shot friends like ur ex.

Teju- I dont care about fashion n latest clothes or brands. I m not even close to ur type. I m a very simple middle class girl.

Teju- It scares me that my openness n honesty will not fit in your inner circle of friends n family. Just like how its now. So i keep telling myself to enjoy each n every moment i have with u.

Kk-  But i always told u the reason i loved u most n value what we have is cos u r different. We r different.

Teju- But u dont like it now.

Kk- I do. I love u.

Teju- I love u too. But clearly thats not enough.

Kk- What do u mean?

Teju- I need some time. Just alone by myself. I need a break from constant criticism.

Teju- U know in my entire career i never had 1 controversy. I always kept my relationship private. Cos i was scared to show my vulnerability.

A tear fell from her eye n she immediately wiped it off. She took a moment n controlled her emotions.

Kk saw that. He knew she was trying not to cry cos of the things he said.

Teju- I dont cry in front of u for sympathy. I cry cos i m hurt. U keep calling it ego. No. I m hurt. Even when i tell u its not my ego. U choose to judge me n call it my ego.

Kk- What do u wanna do now?

Teju- I want some time to myself. I wanna figure out few things.

Kk- U wanna breakup?

Kk regretted asking this. Cos he wasnt prepared to hear the answer.

Teju- No i just need time out.

Kk- so u wNt me out of your life as per your convenience??

Teju just looked down n didnt reply.

Kk- I wanna be the person u run to when u r hurt or need someone. But i have realised i m the one u r running from.

Kk- N going straight to bira.

Teju was furious at this

Teju- He isnt even here. I couldnt go home like this. My parents would have immediately know something happened.

Kk- But when u called him u didnt know if he was out of town or not. N u planned to come here n sit with him.

Teju-  i just wanted to be somewhere where nobody would talk to me. Luckily he wasnt home.

Kk- I always thought u n bira had a certain inclination n chemistry.

Teju- Actually yes. Cos we r good friends. Do u see how we talk. We r rude n brutally honest to each other. I can tell him whatever i want n he wont feel bad. Thats who i call a friend.

Kk- Then why dont u be with him

Teju- Now u r twisting things.

Kk- You clearly cant be u in front of me. U dont want me anymore. U need time away from me now.

Teju- i just need time for myself. Just me.

Kk walked towards the door

Kk- Enjoy ur timeout.

He opened the door n left.

He stood outside the door. Tears rolled down. He didnt even try controlling them. He knew he wouldnt be able to stop. He thought he has lost her. He went to his car n drove back home.

Teju went to the door but didnt open it. She sat down. Just started crying. She held her tears the whole time kk was there. But now she had to let go. She needed to vent out.

She took her time. Cried her heart out. She kept on thinking about the things he said. N how he was so right in few things while somethings he failed to understand.

She got up. Washed her face n packed to leave for home. It was almost 12. So she decided to go home.

She reached home. Used her keys to open the door n quickly rushed to the bedroom so that her mom doesnt see her.
She went to the washroom. Her mom called from outside.

Tm- Teju u ok?

Teju- yes ma. I have an early shoot tomo. Will sleep soon.

Tm- Ok. Sleep fast then. Gn.
She left the room.

Teju changed into her night suit n lied on her bed. She wanted to sleep but couldnt. His words were haunting her. Did she mess up? Did she over react?

Thinking about all this she went to sleep.

Kk reached home. His eyes were red.  He was hurt. He went to his room. Just lied on the bed. Tears rolled down.
This was the most intense conversation he has ever had in any relationship of his life. He tried his best to save it.
He knows that this was the best he could do.
Being a non confrontational person he tried really hard. He gave it his all. The fear of loosing her was getting real. This was the first time she asked time away from her.

He would call her leech n chipku cos she would always be around him. N now suddenly she wanted time away from him. It was killing him.
Her words kept haunting him as well. How his jokes hurt her. He never meant them.
He didn't know what else to do. He too had a busy schedule the whole next week. He decided to just focus on work.
Thats the only way he could distract himself.

They both had tried their best to resolve issues but they couldnt. They both thought love would be enough but clearly it wasnt. They both needed time to realise their faults.
They both knew they couldnt live without each other. But right now thats what they needed.