Tiffany is creative process

The influences in my life

My influences in my life have been everything from my parents to even unfortunately my daughter. And RL Stine and Stephen King. I found it writing whore and Creepypasta has helped me a lot with my PTSD but I also have musical influences like Nancy Sinatra the insane clown posse and as well as Marilyn Manson. Some people think that Marilyn Manson shit had but really he is and he's just trying to say what he wants to say. I could easily be that shit had to because I'm on Spotify under the name circus Trumper and I also believe in Santa telling it as it is belting it out and saying what do you need to say in your music just as long as it's not as hateful as white supremacist shit or religious shit. I believe that everyone has a voice and they should use it in music as well and I've been playing guitar for almost a year and a half now and I just hit iTunes and also the Spotify as well and I am very proud of that. Art what I write about in my music is the same thing I write about my memoirs I talk about my life my sexuality my humanity my PTSD everything that goes on in my life the good the bad and the ugly music is my therapist Marceline someone with a dumb MD or a dumb PhD. One of my friends who's a general in the Air Force has said this properly

"To me anger is a message that I am out of balance. It means I need to give myself some space to process why I am being triggered before I speak. I usually don't lash out, I might get quiet in order to think about my feelings. For me, it's usually a sign that someone has crossed a boundary. I have to make sure that I have communicated clearly about the boundary first. You can't assume someone knows."

I don't usually bring my personal conversations into my memories but this case I wanted to bring out a point that anger is Justin means that you're of out of balance and stuff you can be either inspirational Or destructive you choose your fate.  Yes some of my penpals and friends having Florence me in my life and influenced me during my creative process by learning about their culture and stuff for example today I just finished my favourite colouring book which was the 99 names of Allah. Am I Muslim I am biologically, but I consider myself more Wicca. But anyway I still enjoyed reading and writing and colouring in that book and some of those names are going that suit me actually are going to go into my skin one day as a tattoo because I find that you can find a Lotta good designs Andy's adult colouring books. That being said I also believe in creating your own designs I've done my own designs as well usually by other peoples families like one girl get a peace sign with a heart tattoo and despised it wanted it covered up I thought she was sick in the head for wanting it covered up and I just thought I was gonna have that put on my skin one day as well just to show that is a beautiful tattoo I use my unicorn pens that my aunt has given me. The unicorn pens are the pens like calligraphy pens but they're more interesting and they have more colours and can use them for art tattoo designing in this case or pen palling I use them for designing my tattoos sometimes. But sometimes I also use my iPad to help with my creative process for my Creepypasta's and I do a monthly yearbook of my artwork I just started for February 2022 this February.   I believe that there should be more creativity and positivity and affection and stead of hatred and other stuff that can cause problems let's be more creative positive honest and human. That's what's gonna get me farther in life and the issue is going to get you farther in life of your creative positive honest generous affectionate open and genuine. As I said I remember I still remember that little brat with his roller barrel blades and he was annoying me during my homework time and I was very obsessive during my homework that was the only time when I was OCD was when I did my homework. It had to be quiet it had to be harsh harsh or I couldn't do a good job continues that way all the way through to high school. Because of my "OCD" I was able to graduate from honours as well as get on the honour roll and get out an award for being who I am. I didn't sugarcoat shit back then either if I said you look like a asshole you look like an asshole I just sent it as it is like that back then to.
I never sugarcoated my emotions when I was a teenager and that's what got me some anger management problems with my PTSD in my 20s but I didn't stop me from trying to figure out who I am in the first place I figured that writing was going to help me so because of Ian Fleming and Romeo Dallaire so I right about stuff but I don't bullshit people about what I write about I don't unless it's fictional then I bullshit all away.  
Other influences that make me creative are my ancestors the Roma gypsies the Scythians and Amazons of old and the bactrians of old as well as my current ancestry or my modern ancestry white middle eastern central Asia and south Asian.  I am very much influenced by my DNA because that is what makes me want to either if I am able to do it again pierce or new piercings on other people and to do tattoos and get tattoos done as well I am more or less given the go ahead for tattoos but I cannot pierce myself or do have piercings done by someone else because of my DNA as well my blood will not take the piercings. Certain metals piss off my skin and piss off my blood and the way it is.    I wanted a medusa and I got a medusa all right but it wasn't through a piercing it was through scar tissue what happened was his one year I was so obsessed with piercings that I got my whole face friggin covered up and that was one thing I look like one of my ancestors which was fine but my DNA which was the driving force of piercing myself and really give me any options but I get rid of them particularly when I try to put a push pan into my medusa and I made a right in my cupids bow above my lip I am god medusa all right but it's in the form of scar tissue and I feel like an idiot for doing that in the first place I had a staff infection that was horrific that lasted for a week and then was gone I look like a martial artist who was in a fucking fight for a week or two until I actually saw that I was more prettier with the piercings gone. I've been done by good people and also perverted people I have been known as a goddess because I don't have the piercings. Not that you shouldn't have the piercings but if it's not within your DNA or your body's limit don't do it same thing with tattoos if it looks like it's going to hurt like a motherfucker I wouldn't do it but I do like to push the limit on pain in some cases when  deals with tattoos not piercings anymore. I don't believe in piercings anymore I think they get in the way of the face. And one friend who is native said the face is too sacred for anyone even the natives to mar up at some point.  
Am I a masochist no I just have a very high pain tolerance and want to see if someone says this particular area hurts wants gets tattooed I want to see if it hurts like a motherfucker as well that's just about the size of it. I am not masochistic I dress like tattoos and piercings but the piercings would be a masochistic thing to do again if I wanna end up in the hospital again which I don't want to so I end up just tattooing and I don't tattoo myself I have someone else do my tattoos for me obviously a professional because I again I say fuck the hospital.
Bad day when I try to do a Medusa what is the day I was woken up rudely and I spent the whole day in emergency and did not do anything but stay there and I said this is fucking Guantánamo Bay I don't like this. And then I have never touch the piercing kit or anything prickly again unless it's to prick something else that is not skin.    I let the tattoo artist do the piercing and tattoo tattoos the pricking instead of me having to do it myself. Will I be actually interested in piercing again now but will I take a course in Pearson yes so I can do it more efficiently and more professionally the same thing with being a tattoo artist. This is why I want to be a tattoo artist because of my PTSD I love art and I love tattoos it helps me keep myself in track. It's not anything like a mirror later or cutting yourself it's just trying to make yourself beautiful and it's like anorexia it's a like a form of control but as this is more positive because you're dealing with a blank canvas instead of a skinny canvas and you're able to live longer with a tattoo unless it's the place is dirty it's more of a positive version of a disorder I decide that the body is a blank canvas that needs to be tattooed. And I'm an addict it when it comes to tattoos but not because of the pain....... What fucking pain do I ever feel except for emotional.
Speaking of emotional pain I had to deal with one arsehole named Charlie Richardson from the UK who was nothing more than a shithead. He said he wanted to marry me one day and the next day he wanted to cheat on me and become a Christian. I don't usually hate on people over the religion but this time he was he said he was a fundamentalist which car my friends in the US military in a dither as well as I have been telling my other friends nonmilitary about this fundamentalist piece of shit who cheated on people and it's nothing more than a fundamentalist whatever religion it is womanizer and I said that he was also a pervert I even mentioned this in my Vlog auto lovely.
And I even made a story about it not on Wattpad but I video story about what would happen to this guy if he were to be caught again that he was worried to find the wrong girl again and piss her off. I believe that she he was nothing more than a terrorist because he made me do things that were degrading. That being said I can't stand him and I'd actually like his head. On my bookshelf don't you really want to see that or stereotype my people but in this case he is what he is nothing more than a terrorist and a terrorist doesn't use their head so why the hell should they have them. I find the same thing with womanizers as well what the fuck are you doing with your brain except fucking yet. So I decided I was going to go off relationships maybe for life and less or some other asshole says something nice so I don't know but I'll never know for that fact because I'm going to be auto romantic for the rest of my life unless God or whatever you call it has other plans for me. Other than that I am going to be solitary and solo. Because of Charlie Richardson and how did I meet this fart I met them on a Facebook group and that was the one thing I regret the most in my life my pranks in life and my split earlobes and other things not really regrettable but Charlie Richardson and I fucking regret with a passion.   Being Japanese mafia I am not worried about that in the least at least I fall out of the code and don't do anything silly like criminal activity. I just stick to tattoos and honour.
Why did I join the yakuza the Japanese mafia because I join taekwondo ITF taekwondo by general Troy hung he who was Yakuzahimself and he was the driving force as well for my behaviour in high school I try to behave and try to be kind and decent and honourable to people if I saw someone being bullied I'd beat the shit out of the bully and would get in shit and I'd gladly get in the shit.   I am probably the first non-Japanese person to be in the Japanese mafia do I have a Japanese yakuza tattoo no but I do have a tattoo but my tattoos will cover my body at some point in my day. And they only have things that mean things to me like a siren head and maybe a couple of the names of Allah that suit me as well my personality I mean like I have the forever living in the receiver I'm forever living and I'm also perceiving things all the time Tim Burton shit really clearly one man's crazy is another man's reality it just depends on how are you interpret things or perceive things. That also will be tattooed in Arabic onto my skin as well around my skin.  
Why do I get tattoos because I had obsessions with them since I was a kid my father would give me the water-soluble tattoos and I wanted them to last forever and I'll get another one and another one and pick out my favourites and the next thing you know grandma I ended up designing tattoos at 12 started that and then I started up again about a few months ago and then I said this looks good on my skin I'm going to get it on my skin or this looks good on my skin whatever drawing I was doing I'm trying to get back into that again. What I do is I use wreck this journal or pick me up book to scribble learn it and whatever scribble forms are nice picture turns into a tattoo but lately my tattoos have been outside of the brain and outside of the box and mostly about my heritage. That is my driving factor in my life is my heritage that's why I think that the holocaust should be learned about and not Shawnda or denied. Especially by medical professionals because they were the ones that killed a lot of people in the holocaust as Nazi doctors. I am Roma gypsy they were the main target of the Nazi doctors besides the Jews and I'm also Jewish by DNA as well. A lot of my heroes are either human rights activist Marilyn Manson or RJ wash as well and have survived the holocaust. Because that's just the way I am I also find out some of my heroes are also my penpals that I made they talk about their culture and they don't sugarcoat it and they tell them what their life is like and stuff and I love that very much so in a person. That's what got me thinking about doing my memoirs is writing about my life and my cultures and my influences and how I was creative in the first place.
Why do I say cultures are influences like I might do a facial tattoo one day because it's just the way I was brought up not to be judge mental but are in introduced myself to that culture as well as live that culture whenever possible like at the 99 names of Allah colouring book were one example of me but that was my genetic culture. That I decided I was going to learn about. I also learn about other cultures that I don't belong to but thank are still Poignant in in the human race meaning important in the human race like the Native Americans and the Black people.   
I don't believe you should hate someone because of their religion background or genetic background meaning race or whatever the fuck with that if you think that's important to you I was in being a proud heritage you got a fucking problem and you can cause wars and a lot of problems in peoples lives. That being said I don't edit what I say if I say if you give me proud of your heritage and who you are but then there's a fine line from that to hatred. And with hatred I despise with a passion it causes discrimination murder and genocide something I do not believe in and an even causes terrorism and something else that I despise with a passion. That being said I met someone who and I don't I hope to take it slowly who also hates the same things that I do the terrorism and all that shit that causes shit in the world. If only he knew that I was affected by terrorism directly but survived. That is why I am writing these memoirs to say wart and who I am. I also wanna explore my other more happier experiences with life. And they'll come out pretty soon.