Tiffany is creative process

My teen years part 2

My Jean years were very positive except for a girl name to Tish Bennett she was a villain in my life he was horrible person he was also a fellow prankster, what do you all sorted out becoming a Jihad is piece of shit. When I started dating someone for the first time and I did this isn't real dating this was high school dating she became Jihadi right away and started saying really stupid and scary things and stuff that I don't think you should say to someone and less you wanna get in shit or punched in the face. Trisha Bennett as her name was holy shit I remember one time and this is this part secondly I am Muslim OK I had to go to mass which is fine respect all religions she said after mass a time of communion with God tell me whether you be Christian or Muslim that she said she want to shoot a guy in the head with a fucking AK-47 and I was like what the fuck are you talking about I'm gonna kill you if were saying that. Soon I was seeing her more like Osama bin Laden than anyone else he was no longer a friend because I was dating so I'm jack ass and I knew he was a jack ass so why the hell. I was going to get out of that relationship anyway because I thought I was gay at that time. But she didn't think of it anything she just kept on and on about jihad and terrorism and stuff soon enough I had enough one year after I broke up with my boys high school boyfriend I just started to confront her and get my first two years of my life back which I was glad to do but it showed that anger solve problems instead of not solving problems I walk with Raven myself up or in front of her classroom to her friend Sarah wanna fucking get that terrorist in love fucker this is me her 9/11 blah blah blah and all that shit revving it up I'm gonna say this is gonna be uglier than anything. And it was a walk barged into that classroom I said give me my fucking two years of my life back and give me my fucking life back you can't and I said that out loud noise that I have use the cat instead of the actual see you next Tuesday word.  And I have a lock that could kill bin Laden himself that day and I was learning that psycho gets you somewhere in life and even so I can get you killing terrorists or scaring terrorists or at least putting them in a corner crying. I decide to make her my bitch. Because she made my life symbolically a bitch I decided she was gonna be my bitch. If I was angry I was going to Rego on her and tell her to fuck off and fly a kite and I say if you don't your dad. And I also say you don't even believe in Islam even if you were supposedly Muslim you're not really Muslim you're just a terrorist get the fuck out of my face before I kill you kind of thing I was really horrible behaviour and I learned that anger management problems were the solution in high school and I start making enemies with Tatian's friends Tisha and Matt were now my enemies Matt was a guy I was dating Matt wind me in prison because I was gay and Tess was just a fart in the wind storm terrorist and sewer storage making up not making up things were saying things that were true and I didn't sugarcoat I said that fucking fat fuck over there is a fucking terrorist well that guy over there is a fucking womanizer. I still remember his time with me he cheated on me with a teacher and I said get the hell out of my sight it's your autopsy not mine so get out of my sight by meaning it's your autopsy not mine meaning that person could've been a predator. He didn't get the concept that someone is a predator he thought someone was banging heart he thought someone was going to be fuckable and sexual. That to be said I was not very happy when I heard that. That was a time when I decided I was gay.
When I told her I was game at first my parents thought it was Tasha warping my mind but it wasn't really Tisha or was it my DNA it was my DNA instead of this fat fuck Jihadi shit.  Hi son started thinking that most Irish people were terrorists whether they be iRA or In this case worth Tasha mujahadeen Taliban and Al-Qaeda.  Let's just say if I saw shop shamrock I Maisel meeting the shadow ha flag that pissed me off so much. They use the proclamation of the of the faithful La illa ilallah Mohamed Rasool Allah As their mascot to go around fucking up everything else in life but that's not true if you really believe in the shadah For the proclamation of the faithful you will be human and you'll be decent person I need that's how it goes with me you don't go around fucking up life so when I started reading the newspaper watching Geraldo Rivera and other things that weren't very good for my brain all during my teen years.    I was a force to be reckoned worse because of my pro human anti murder...... he's either my way or the highway you were either with me or you were with the terrorists I was going to block your Facebook if I saw one thing that looks fucked up. And soon came the dick pics those are not fun. The dick pics were horrible things that were not meant to be invented. I have told many people on Facebook that a person showed me a dick was actually a terrorist one they were just a pervert which is another form of terrorism in my opinion it's just sexual. I don't think these people whether they be terrorists or perverts either way it's a form of the same thing shouldn't be on the Internet and shouldn't be allowed to live a life that is decent and human. Soon I was getting matter and matter and I was becoming too demanding for respect instead of giving respect I was demanding it and being a real shithead I was not in a good mood or a good spot in that time and I was really a horrible person at that time even my daughter thought I was horrible. She called me George W. Bush a couple of times or miss Guantánamo Bay just because of my horrible outlook on life you're either with me or the terrorists blah blah blah blah blah you're either a Muslim or an asshole or you're a Muslim or a terrorist one of the two you're not either Muslim and good or you're a terrorist and a shithead who kills people the name of Islam.    One psychiatrist who diagnosed three with PTSD said that I had a very pleasant looking face but I have a very demonic temper. The fact that I was being compared to Satan or a demon was the worst thing in the world for me and that I was being told to get out of my house because of my foul displacement in life was horrible. I'll tell you one thing that I've learned and I learned very quickly when I just saw the doctor was a shithead bastard bitch. For making me move out of my house one year and I told her not to even say that again unless I say with all my heart if  is inthe name of God the merciful and compassionate and I think we should all be more merciful and compassionate like the like god.    I am throwing through this particular book that I have the devil as well as God inside me and either way it depends on how I choose my day and how it goes you can either go a good day or a real shitty day it depends on how I treat the day and go about my actual things I can I could choose to be negative still and be negative and evil and demonic or I can be God like compassion and merciful and I actually see that I'm only human and flawed that God is the only artist out there other than the tattoo artist who did my tattoo in the first place that was a brilliant artist. To be sad can anyone make the big dipper no that's God but can someone duplicate it yes I can duplicate it but not as perfect as gods creation of the big dipper that's what I think I use the big dipper as a metaphor because every artist has tried to make the big dipper look like the big dipper even me there's been one time I have been close to godliness and that was in Hope town Ontario Canada in a school house I was playing around with a chalkboard and found out that I was able to make the big dipper that's making the big dipper on the chalkboard in it entirely Ananas likeliness I found always more close to being good than I am to being evil. Evil doesn't get you anywhere except kicked out of your house by your doctor or getting your friends to be your enemies and even one friend to be a terrorist it's not good.   I find that if you believe in what you believe in that is God and you listen to the Insane Clown Posse more than you do the religious leader you'll get somewhere in life and you'll find more love and more acceptance you don't have to be drama lol you just have to enjoy their music and know that life can be drama free very easily and very simply. Most of my philosophy is what the Juggalos say. We don't see colour we don't see faith we don't see DNA we just see a Juggalo are juggalette.   And that anger can be a choice of fate you can either choose your anger to be positive and make a difference in the world and be creative and positive or you can tear down people and even buildings if you are angry you can be very destructive with anger so choose your faith very wisely if possible I always choose either the paint brush the unicorn pen the colouring book the sketchpad and the canvas instead of a fist or a knife or a gun. That's just the way it is and it's the same thing when I'm upset with life I choose those other things instead of alcohol drugs and cigarettes. I don't believe that you should find chemical ways of helping yourself when there are other ways to get high or drunk off life instead of getting drunk or high off fucking chemicals. I find that there's a proper way to get Hyannis by doing creative things like art music photography writing whatever pen palling here there's other ways of venting to the world instead of drinking away your problems snorting away your problems or shooting up your problems or smoking them away either way you wanna be dead if you don't choose your faith wisely that's what the Insane Clown Posse has said that's what Marilyn Manson has said as well to be your own person to be creative not destructive. Even though they do look a little destructive at times they're not they're very harmless musicians who just happen to have a very big point of you on life and that is that you should use your anger for positivity and creativity only that if you slip up and not shoes proper fade you will end up in big trouble. But then again there's also the fact that we're only human and human that is. I was also taught to be creative by my parents are by my teachers are friends but by my parents and friends in elementary school they allowed me to be creative until the period started to come. Once I started having my period my friend started coming down on me like a Hammer except for Karen she allowed me to be who I was. But did I allow her to be who she was no I was a bitch. Was I demonic at the time now but I was not exactly happy with my arrangements in life being in Catholic school and stuff. Tonight talk things out on her all throughout my 20s and cholera races in cholera communist and stuff I thought took it out on her and said I hated her and really I didn't have to hater she could still be my best friend and she is now my best friend still because I decide to get my head out of my ass. My creative process Sierra want to know always get your head out of your ass and pick up that paintbrush or pan or watt pad or tablet or phone or whatever you use to create things. I have created things from paintings to social media so I called scary friend. I'm having a hard time trying to grow that but that's beside the point and I also right on Wattpad using my iPad to be said I think that these things should be picked up more and use more instead of weapons or fists or swearwords unless you have to say something that Hass to be said yeah fucking have to say it. But I don't like these derogatory words like the N-word and Jeph word not the fuck were the other F word meaning homosexual and other stupid terms that I've heard in my life oh yeah I don't like them but I do believe in the ass for like fuck you shit goddamn motherfucker and other stuff like that I will admit I believe in those swearwords do I believe in things like the N-word and f*g........fuck no.   The mortgage can cause a lot of problems in the world and then words can cause a lot of deaths have caused a lot of deaths so f*g and The N-word should be obliterated from the human vocabulary whatever race you happen to be in you shouldn't be saying those words I don't consider them words I consider them dirt. To be said as dirt I mean as shit foul shit that shouldn't be seen. And should be eradicated the F*G word and the N-word or not words at all they should be Raticate it from the hole human vocabulary because they're not vocabulary they're dirt and shit what are you do to shit and are you flush it down the toilet. Or you shovel it where it should be shoveled. I remember having one friend that told me shovel shit where shit should be shovelled and that should be the same thing was certain words as well that aren't words at all but offending piles of ladders. That's why I don't believe in antisemitism or Islamohobia or homophobia or any of those kind of freaky things that's just gross but I also don't believe in tantra and the Kama Sutra I find that to be as equally as deviant and freaky.   Kamasutra and the tantrums are nothing more than a form of perversion I find that is popularized by the Internet kind of like pet aphelia only with adults it's not right it's not natural to hold your own essence it's not natural do not release your ass soon as it's not natural to be in those positions or anything else for that matter or anything that's kinky like karma sutra and temperate tantra are very kinky and very horrible. I had a very bad experience one time with Tantric porn someone gave me a Tantric porn blast on Facebook and I had to report them to the police and everything it was very traumatic. It was just as bad as if it was child porn and I'm sorry if I had to say those words too but that's what it was compared to Tantric or Kama Sutra porn is as evil as child porn. It's an abuse to the body any abuse to the body whether be a child or a woman shouldn't be allowed.
For the time I had to give up on Facebook for a while until I figure out a way with a counsellor to get back on Facebook and that's how I started on IMVU as well and start meeting people on IMVU. Did I still get dick pics on Facebook yes but I was there were more manageable than the actual tantric smutt. That's another reason why I'm single and why I am autoromantic. 
It took me years to fix Facebook again three years and now I'm overseas and veteran as far as Facebook is concerned I might still vulnerable to somethings yes everyone is human everyone is vulnerable how do you think I met Charlie Richardson. Because I was vulnerable at one point but I'm not vulnerable anymore but I will be again at some point as every other human being to be sad we have our flaws. And I don't think we should be prayed upon on our flaws.