Dear Owen

Four

Chemotherapy. Although is has helped many people it may have late effects some deadly, some not so and these can last forever.
The night I started my first chemo, I had to do my own research. From my findings, I learnt that sometimes the side effects can last a lifetime, such as when chemo causes long-term damage to the heart, lungs, kidneys, or reproductive organs and certain types of chemo sometimes cause delayed effects, such as a second cancer that may show up many years later. This has always been in my mind, the possibility that I may just have prolonged my life to be ended by an effect of my treatment. And I talked to my dad about this one day, and he didn't have any comfort to offer, only to find me a therapist who I meet up with once a week. Every Friday.

Dr. Faye and I developed a fair therapist-client relationship. She makes sure I am well, I make sure she gets her money. Other days I see her as a useless part of my routine, like someone I have to just accommodate just to make my dad happy, because he is so convinced I have depression. And on other day, days like today I get so excited that I have someone I can to about the things I cannot tell my dad. I can tell him- but his responses will be so biased. 

It's roughly a twenty minutes drive to Dr. Faye's office.  It is going to be my third time going to her office in over a year. For the past year she has been visiting  me in the hospital. On days she felt like it, she was kind enough to bring me a book, and on others she'd come with some home made cookies. Although she will never voice it, because her profession does not allow it, Dr. Faye cares about me, she likes me, maybe even loves me, and she always shows it by those smiles she offers.
My dad also has a sweet spot for her. They casually text on rare occasions. Dr. Faye would text my dad asking how I am, and the conversation will always end with them exchanging a few words about the weather or politics. Beyond that, they keep everything professional, as how it should be.

"We're here." the car  stops. I look around the familiar street. I slide out of the car and wait for my dad for a few seconds. He comes out with some masks which he hands me one. I pull it on and lead inside the tall building.

"I will have to go to the farm today, I will be late. I talked to Sash, she'll make sure you're okay." he says once we're in the elevator. I ignore him, he knows I've heard him anyways. "Kero will come pick you up." Again I don't say anything.

We reach the eighth floor and I walk out and head straight to the reception. I grab the claim form, and start filling it as my dad chat with the receptionist. 

"Thank you Mr. Arche." the women smiles at the both of us. I check the time, I will seeing Dr. Faye any moment now. Just as the thought runs in my head her opens to reveal her tall frame. 

Dr. Faye is probably in her mid thirties. She is tall and slim. I can tell she is the kind to check on everything she eats, and she probably runs or visit the gym often, if not both. She is pale, with blond hair and green calming eyes. But that is not only that, Dr. Faye has a calming aura with her, just seeing her, no matter how anxious I am, I will feel at ease. 

She flashes a warm professional smile as she sees both my dad and I. She motions me to enter her room which I do leaving her outside with my dad.

After a few minutes she walks in.

"Owen, hello."

"Hie." I say as she sits on her chair opposite the couch I am seated. In-between us is a small glass table with a hand sanitizer and tissues.

"I am happy to see you. You look way better this week."

"I feel so." I say.

She nods. She just looks at me, she knows I will start to talk eventually.

"I have been great. I think we should stop seeing each other." I joke. It makes her smile a little before silence engulfs us again. "I made a new friend." I almost hate myself for how easily I give in. Although I wanted to talk to her about him, I wanted it to be the last thing I say. I wanted to put myself first, but I failed.