Dear Owen

Three

The first time Guy talked about Natasha was the first time we had breakfast together, that time Natasha was just a crush, perhaps there was something, but I think they didn't have a title to it. Natasha was just a 'someone'. But as the days went by, she definitely became a part of him. He seemed so invested in spending time with her. She also became part of the breakfast conversations. Natasha this, Natasha that, all the time. 

"It's nothing really."

"The fact that you always say that it means it is something." Gale said. My dad on the other hand remained silent as he watched the two speak. 

"We just- you know, hang out." he said smiling, the he begins to poke his food with a folk as the smile widens.

It definitely was not nothing.

Natasha had him wrapped around her fingers. I could tell. Last Tuesday he had his phone in his hands, with a grin on his face. When his dad asks him, he just said it was Natasha.

And he clearly had had sex with her, I mean- why else would he be so obsessed with her.

I roll my eyes as I pull my woolen hat on. It is hot, but I don't think I have to the confidence to walk around with a bald head. I let my fingers run on the wool, imagining it as my hair. I rub the thought off as I grab my phone off the unmade bed and walk out. It is hotter than I anticipate and it's a stretch to the Collins'. 

It's a good four hundred meters stretch from our house to the gate, another four hundred meters from our gate to the Collins' and  only two hundred meters to their house. My dad said I should not walk alone there, or even walk at all because I am not yet really back on my feet, so instead, he let me ride my bike, firmly insisting that I keep it as slow as I can.

Kero opens the gate for me as I was approaching. I wave ad he waves back. I pretend not to see the pity behind his frames.

***

Guy is laying on the lawn, with headphones on. I cannot tell if he is asleep or awake. He has some shorts on, and no shirt on. I envy how he has no insecurities about his body. I slowly approach him, thinking of how I am going to get his attention without scaring him. But he suddenly sits, then stretch before he looks towards me.

"Tell me this isn't a fucking bomb song!" he smiles removing his headphones and stretching his hand towards me. 

"Huh?"

"Here-" he pats the spot next to him. I set my bike down before walking closer. I take the headphones and put them on.

"Close your eyes, and just let your body give in to the music."

I do as told, closing my eyes. It's an old school, probably a band. I open my eyes and look at him, he is now laying down again, with his knees up. I close my eyes before I follow suit.

I know my limit
Just what it takes
When things ain't good enough
I just pull the brake
Sometimes it's easy
Sometimes so tough
But just have one thing clear
I can't get enough

I listen to the whole song. It is a nice song to the say the least.

The headphones suddenly are yanked from my ears.

"Like it?"

"Yeah."

"Europe,  released in 1986  became a top 10 hit in France, Germany, Holland, Spain, Belgium, Ireland and Switzerland, I don't know how many other countries I left." he grins setting the headphones and his phone aside. "You like bands?"