my moon, my sun

10

We didn't speak in the cab, I couldn't bring myself to talk to her after the words she uttered to me several hours ago. I realised that we have never really spoken about her life in America, good or bad.

"I'm sorry." She said, as we stepped out after the money was handed to the old man.

"I just can't believe you said that."

"I didn't mean it, Marcia, I didn't mean it. It was just the moment and I was mad at myself and  took it out on you. I love being in my favourite place with my favourite person."

"What if what you said was right, maybe I shouldn't waste our time and go home." I kicked the carpet as we walked over to the elevator.

"Do you not see here as your home?" She whispered, her voice breaking.

"I see anywhere with you as my home, Laurie, but I don't know if what we did, rushing into us was the best outcome. I don't want to be one of those couples-"

"So we are a couple?" She cut me off. I stayed silent.

"It's too late to talk about this. Drop it Laurie."

The low music softly played in the background and I held my breath.

"But-"

"Hey. I dropped your whole work situation as soon as you asked. Okay? I want you to do the same for me."

She didn't respond.

We didn't talk for the rest of the night and I wanted to scream, I realised the more time I spent with her the more I wanted to scream in the long scheme.

~~
She was right, when I woke the next morning she had disappeared and all that was left was her smell on the sheets next to me.

I spent most of the day in bed, not wanting to get lost again. I wanted to visit Juliette, but I couldn't remember what way I went and it wasn't worth the risk.

I stayed up until two, watching the fridge and nothing  moving inside of it. I didn't know what I was expecting to happen. A jar of pickles to suddenly appear?

But I waited, and waited for Laurie. I wanted to see her for at least a second. I needed to otherwise I couldn't survive.

I waited. And waited.

Then I heard the key in the latch. Turning it. My chair, positioned in front of the cold fridge, had a breeze escape it slowly and stealthy.

My breath hitched. My legs quaked. My feet now on the cold tiles where freezing and I left the fridge door open. From watching it like a television.

The only source of light from the moon in the night sky on the other side of the big window panel that she seemed to have in front of every room in her apartment.

"Laurie.." I whispered, to quiet for her to hear.

I heard a faint humming sound coming from the front door, if I turned one centimetre I could lay my eyes upon her. For the first time in 24 hours I could feel that feeling that I never got used to.

The song seemed to be any other song that you could hear on the radio. Where she heard it was another question but I didn't really care. I just cared about seeing her.

I peeked from the corner, her back to me as she slipped her shoes off her delicate feet. She shuddered, suddenly. Realising the cool nature of her flat this evening. She turned to the thermostat, switching it right, I laughed at her sudden decision to do so.

My flat feet on the now carpet in the hallway made no noise as I slowly approached her. She seemed to have wires hanging from her ears.

Music seemed to flow through them, since when had she owned headphones?