my moon, my sun

4

"She has to come. She has to." Is what I hear as I walk past the kitchen an early Friday morning.

"But-"

"Jean, she can't hang out with her friends today."

"Why not?"

"Because they went to the pictures without her. Imagine how that would be like if you were her age." My mother practically shouts at him now.

"I want her to come." Laurie says, so they aren't talking about her.

I hide behind the kitchen wall, they can't see me, but I can see them now.

They sit around the island in the middle of the kitchen, our maid cleans away at the dishes in the sink, my mother eats at her salad. The door is open behind them, both sides are flung open, letting in every creature that can scuttle in.

"But Laurie this-"

"I know. You've told me million times that this trip is meant for just me and you but, how many times has she seen the ocean? It's just a day trip. She won't bother me."

They're talking about the day trip to French Riviera. It's about an hour journey by car, I assume. My father hasn't stopped talking about it since he met Laurie a few years ago, when she was maybe my age in a place nearby. She planned to stay with us in our house as soon as she turned eighteen but things got in the way and she had to postpone her trip.

She wanted me to come to her once in a life time trip?

I wanted to push my way through the kitchen and announce myself,

Of course I'll come! I've always secretly wanted to come with you two but my father always acted like Im not good enough. Look at you now father! You fool!

But this time I wait, like a lion. To pounce as soon as my father says,

Okay she can come, only because you want her too, let's go tell her too pack.

"Are you sure? We've planned this trip for years, I don't want her ruining it."

"Jean!" My mother shouts, hitting him in the arm.

"C'est vrai, elle gâche toujours les choses. That's right, she always messes things up."

Messes things up? is that what he thinks of me?

"I just wanted a mango to cut." I walk into the kitchen, all there heads turn to me immediately.

Laurie releases a apologetic smile, my father turns red, his facial hair not thick enough to cover all his face up. My mother immediately gets up, rubbing my back as she hands me the rippest one.

"I'm sorry," My father says, I put on a fake smile.

"For what, father?" I act as if I haven't heard anything.

"Do you want to go on a trip to French Riviera?" Laurie cuts the tension in the room like butter.

Just speaking her mind and spitting what the question that needed to ask like nothing.

"Are you sure?" I ask, fluttering my eye lashes like I have done no wrong. Ever.

"Of course Im sure, I really like you." Laurie laughs, as I chop my mango into long, thin chunks.

"If you're sure, I would love to!" I chuck the pieces into the bowl in front of me before strutting back into the hallway.

My hair flaps in the wind as I run up the stairs, to go cry, in my room.

~~
"Please wake up, your father won't take you if you don't awaken." She rubs my back in attempt to wake me but instead I want to fall deeper into this sleep. She's comforting.