Thing's I'm not allowed to do at Hogwart's

700-800

700: I will not imply that Professor Snape is Ozzy Ozbourne.

701: -I will not ask Professor Snape how "Ozzy" is

702: -Professor Snape is in no way related to Ozzy Ozbourne.

703: Draco Malfoy is not Billy Idol.

704: - Nor is he an Albino.

705: - Nor will I tell the first years this.

706: I am not to imply that if Hogwarts had a special needs group then Dumbledore's sister could have gotten help.

707: I am not to ask the house elves if the Gryffindors could have Cheetos and Doritos with dinner.

708: I cannot ask the house elves to carve the ham into a human head and serve it to Slytherin.

709: Nor any other body part.

710: I will not spread the rumor that Umbridge was muggle born.

711: I won't put new born babies under the sorting hat just to confuse it.

712: I will not put owls under the sorting hat just to confuse it.

713: I will not ask which house Dumbledore was in.

714: nor will I suggest that he was in the wrong one, for we all know he is incredibly brave and extremely clever.

715: I will not ask Mrs. Pince to find me the manga section.

716: I will not bet on how many paper planes stick in Professor Snape's hair.

717: I did not see Pansy in the Slytherin common room singing 'I Kissed A Girl' and I should stop telling people that I did.

718:-I also did not see her singing 'Pansylicious'.

719:-The same goes for Hermoine

720: I will not stand in the middle of the great hall and sing, "I may be a tiny chimney sweep but I have an enormous...broom"

721:- Nor anywhere else for that matter.

722:- I am not allowed to sing the aforementioned song at all.

723: I will not go down to the kitchens, get a bowl of grapes, and then make them peel them for me.

724: No alligators. No exceptions.

725: I will not challenge Aragog and his mate to a "14 legged race" no matter how fun the outcome would be.

726: Demanding to the Minister why wizards weren't out magically helping the Giant Panda populations is highly frowned upon.

728: -writing a business letter about it doesn't stop it from being rude.

729: -Writing TWO business letters likewise changes nothing.

730: -even if I did say "Dear" at the beginning.

731: There has never been and there isn't now a Great Lord Waldemart and you are discouraged from voicing that idea in front of Voldemort

732: You are also greatly discouraged from saying that he is the greatest wizard in the world because Voldemort might not respond do that too kindly.

733: Screaming out "I saw Harry and Draco down in the dungeons snogging each other" in the middle of the great hall is not appropriate.

734:-Nor in any other place

735:-Even if everyone finds it amusing

736: Using wizard swears inside the walls of Hogwarts is also forbidden even if Dumbledore has forgotten he set this rule.