CUPID | narancia ghirga

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 - 𝐨𝐠𝐧𝐢 𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐭𝐚 𝐜𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐢 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐨

I remember a book I once read, the name is irrelevant, but I can recall Mother telling me how it would 'derange' my future as a person. Said book held knowledge my young ming couldn't comprehend, but the sentences and phrases throughout the author's writing managed to hook themselves onto the crevices of my brain, unavoidably guiding my to grow as the person I am today. 

The book had questions such as 'Is happiness just chemicals flowing through your brain or something more?' and 'Is there an inherent order in or is it all chaos and chance?' 

Now with time on my hands, I chose to stop and reflect on it, Mother is right. 

Mother is always right!

How stupid was I?

Stupid enough to imprison my own thoughts to this day and confine what was left of my childhood in the God-forsaken book I mistakenly read. 

If younger me chose to stop and hear what mother's words on my future really meant, I would be happier! But it is far too late for that. I now can only watch as what is left of me is carried away by the empty ocean and its unending giant sea swells. 

"Coda!" Father yelled from downstairs. I remember when mother used to scream at me like that; younger me was never fond of loud noises because of it, but it was my fault. If I behaved better, I can assure you that mother would not scream at me. "Are you coming for breakfast?" And as father roared those words to me, I realized how hungry I had been all along. "Yes father, I will be there soon"

Now downstairs, I could listen to the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore outside. Large rocks and boulders being hit endlessly by the ocean until salt was the only thing left. Father's house was not far from the beach, which to my surprise, has never been such a relief. Years ago, I would complain that if a large wave bashed against our home, we would all depart this life, but now being close to the seaside had never been better. 

"Mimma"
"Baby / Child" (fem. version) 

I could hear father calling me as I sat by the table. 

"Do you by any chance have a boyfriend?" 

"Father! No!" 

"Because there is a strange looking boy by our door"

Narancia? Could that be him? Again? How pleasant! Though I do not recall handing him my address. "Narancia?" I uttered, quickly standing up from the chair where I sat. Inside my chest it felt as if a butterfly had fluttered it's wings, spreading all across my heart and wrapping itself along my organs, inescapably warping my lungs as breaths felt cut short.  A Pipevine Swallowtail Butterfly taking over my whole flesh and bones as I, a defenseless victim fell trap to. 

"Coda! What about a walk around the city? Maybe hills too if you'd like" 

"Narancia, what are you doing by my door at 7 in the morning?"

I could see he visibly hesitated, but so did I. "I mean, who wouldn't want to see you, right?"

My fingers twirled with the seams of my shirt. Mother would never allow me to leave this early. Is this my pass to temporary freedom? Would father allow me to undoubtedly head out with this unfamiliar stranger?  

"Has anyone told you that you look beautiful in morning light?" 

Mother would have laughed at that. She despises my morning hair and everything about me during sunrise hours. 

"Father!" I began. This was my chance, mother is not here, fianlly, automony. I could feel the inside of my eardrumbs trembling. Noises started to fade and vision went clearer. I was scared. I feared mother would appear behind my figure and judge my possibilities. 

"Father, I am leaving" 

She is not here hereby I'm free. 

"Shall we head out, bellissima? 

And together, we left for the hills.

Narancia was a gentle boy. He would ask for permission before daring to draw himself closer to me. I was scared of holding his hand. I feared he would disappear like all those that crossed paths with me, eventually entering my life and leaving right away. 

Narancia would be careful. He took interest in the small white flowers and made sure to evade them, he preserved their poor insignificant lives and would push me away from them  if I tried ending their suffering. 

Plants, somehow different from humans, only exist. Their purpose is to serve other organisms, supplying them with oxygen. That is their whole purpose. I do not consider myself a plant, but surely I am not human either. 

The raven boy made me feel alive at least. Every breath is taken to its fullest when with him. My cells scream for more time, more time, more time. More time just so I can feel his hand in mine. The warmth of human touch was never a clear concept to me. But when he is near, I crave the embrace of a human.

"Coda"

I felt a breath close to my neck. The pace of my heart beat started growing faster. I was about to explode.

"You know, there is a reason I chose to walk down the beach with you that day"

"Tell me, I'm all ears"

"You remind me of a friend I long dearly, a friend I would sacrifice the last of my years to see again"

"Tell me about them, won't you? Maybe I know the important human"

"They were beautiful. That is all I am able to recall. The rest of the day is covered in memory fog. I do not know if they are dead or lost, but even if they are gone, at least now, I have you" 

Oh...

So it is true. He only likes me for I am his second choice. 

"But my favorite thing is whenever you are close, Coda. You're smiles, which I have not been much able to witness, are my new favorite thing"

｡☆✼★━━━━━━━━━━━━★✼☆｡
votes are highly appreciated !

A.N.:
Really hoping you're able
to perceive Coda's insecurities
and fears in regards to their 
mother. 

Apologies for the long hiatus
but I AM BACK!