CUPID | narancia ghirga

𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐞 - 𝐨𝐜𝐜𝐡𝐢 𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚

I am scared to come to terms with how I feel. Like the end of summer, my thoughts have come to an end and I can finally rest at peace with my own mind. I have been through storms of feelings like that of humid nights. But old sailors always say, 'After the storm, the waters are still', and that I will follow. No matter what clouds blow my way, the wind will blow it away. It is as simple as that.

It took me weeks to finally understand that Narancia does me good. He is beautiful and all I could have ever asked for. I wish to hug him tightly and never let go of his body, to tell him I'm proud of everything he has done and accomplished, for me and himself, and ultimately, make sure he knows he's loved and safe in my presence. I desire to tell him that I love him and that I am happy we met that day.

I want to bathe in his warmth every morning and be welcomed in his smile when we meet. I want to show that I love him like he has done to me. I want summer to never end, because I know contact will be tough; and I know how utterly replaceable I am. 

I enjoy the desire to 'want'. Because 'wanting' is human and I feel alive. 

"Coda?" 

A lingering pit of fire rose from the bottom of my stomach. It voyaged through my body like a struck lighting inscendiating the remains of a dead tree. The branches, now old and dry, catching fire oh-so easily. 

"Yes?" Was all my heart could muster. 

"Coda it's Narancia, are you free right now? Lady Delfina let me in and I kind of wanted to talk"

"Narancia. I am free at the moment, any place in mind?" 

"There is a meadow up South. It is painted red with drumstick allium which blossom during late summer. It is beautiful" 

"I will accompany you. Shall we head out?"

Before I was delivered any answer he grabbed my hand. It felt rough, but comforting. He lifted my arm over my head and spun my body around, smiling with his usual grin. I fell in love with him all over again. "Oh how you make me happy, Coda"

We walked together, touching nothing but our pinky finger, which happened to be intertwined as he told me about his endless stories and adventures, guiding me blindly to the Sicily meadows. 

I wish to say I have lived happier moments, but I have not. Cupid, oh Cupid, how can I thank you enough? Your inexplicable attitude, writing my fate with the Sun to my Moon. I have searched far and wide but never to find the right star. He is the right star. My own daystar.

The grass shone greener and the simple but charming scent of honey enlaced in every breath made it perfect. The meadow was as he described. Beautiful. A canvas of red hues, each more alluring than the other. Bees hummed and delivered the pollen back to the hive as not a bird dared to sing. The clouds were as high as they could get and the sky had gifted me with the bluest blue. I suddenly felt tears to my eyes, but non crystal clear as the water that flowed in the meadow's rivers. Mine were full of unspoken words I had kept for so long, not fish.

"Narancia this place is a dream" 

"Please Coda; you're the only dream here"

"Don't even start. Tell me why you chose to bring me here, out of all people, me"

He stopped and breathed in, slowly. My heart for the first time raced faster than my thoughts.

We sat on the grass and for a second I felt everything and nothing, all the the same time. The grass blades prickling my skin, the single ant crawling up my arm, an untucked hair strand falling loosely over my eyes. Everything shone in vivid colors. 

"Coda I have held this back so long in fear of being wrong. But I believe you are part of my childhood. The person whose hand I held in mine as we stood over the cliff. The crows, the clouds- you. It was you"

Narancia drew himself close and hung his head by the crook of my neck. His arms snaked around my lower torso comfortably, as if he was seeking for something long gone- a warmth I did not possess. We sat embracing each other. The silence was not comfortable nor a nuisance, but it was what we chose to share for the spam for 15 minutes, I believe. 

"I'm sorry. I still hang on to what is left of that stupid memory. I miss being young but I miss them the most. I miss them a lot"

The boy lifted his sad, sad eyes. So filled with desperation but hope, the desire to give up but the though of their friend still out there.

His amethyst eyes. 

Amethyst... eyes...

"Look at me, please" I raised both hands to cup his face. 

Every centimeter of his every feature induced deja-vu. His eyes, his nose, his lips, his teeth, his hair, every strand of his hair; it made Narancia who he is today. 

Narancia's raven hair and amethyst eyes. How could I have been so blind? My eyes have deceived me for somewhat long. It is unfair how much love I harbor for him. Each passing second adding more details to this already realistic painting, in a canvas I longed for far too much time. 

"Kiss me for Cupid's sake, kiss me already"

And life felt complete. 

It wasn't messy or extravagant, but it spoke for unspeakable feelings neither of us were ready to unravel. He... loved me... and I loved him. That is all that mattered. 

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votes are highly appreciated !

A.N.:
I fear to have written Coda as
sticky and obsessive. But
that is how you love when 
you were never taught to
express it. It is full of thoughts
and loop-holes. It is messy.