Homophobic but secretly gay

4.

Juho
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•To the present day•
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I remember those times. They were nice. Not like it's any different from now. I got up and opened the bathroom door and I headed back to class. I didn't make any eye contacs. Not even with Jere. I sat down on my seat and putted my head down on the desk. My head felt heavy and I was already too tired to keep it up.

"Juho. Where did you go? You were gone for half of the lesson." Jere suddenly asked.

I turned my head to see him. "I was in the bathroom." I answered.

"For half of the lesson? Damn what were you doing? Taking a shit?" He laughed in confused.

"No! I didn't do anything there. I was just thinking stuff and relaxing my mind. I feel a bit better now but.." I explained quickly and stopped for a second. "Nothing. I feel just fine." I said.

"Hm. Okay sure whatever." Jere said and rolled his eyes.
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Our class ended and we had to go outside for a break. Me and Jere tried to stay inside and we tried to hide somewhere. We almost succeeded but one teacher saw us and we started to run away to find another place to hide from teachers. Jere found one place. He ordered me to go there while he watched out for teachers. It wasn't that big of a place. I sat down on the floor and waited for him. Then he came too and sat next to me. It was pretty cramped here.

"Uhm..could you move a-" I didn't even get to finish when Jere putted his hand on my mouth to keep me shut.

He heard teacher walking by. It was quiet for a while. He looked back at me and took his hand off my face. Now it was awkward silence. We looked at each other for a bit and realized how close we are now. He turned his head to look away from me. I didn't know what to do or think in this moment. I got the same feeling again. Was it because of him? But I'm not gay. Could I be bi? No no! Hell no. And for the fact he is straight.

I didn't even realize I stared him until he asked. "What? Why are you staring at me you shithead."

"Geez I-.." I didn't know what to say. Half of my brain said to do something and other half said not to because it would turn out bad. What would turn out bad? What 'I' wanted to do? I'm so confused.

"Tsk. Are you gay?" He asked and my heart skipped a beat.

"What?! Ew no, never. How could you ask something like that?" Now there was even more awkward silent. "Dickhead." I said.

"Say that one more time and I will do something that you will not like!" He said and looked a bit nervous. Actually..really nerous.

"Pff like what?" I asked and raised my eyebrow.

Jere just stared at me silently. He looked even more nervous. If I can say, he even looked like he was about to die of the nervousness.

"Yeah what would you do, dickhead?" Yes. I said it again...What? I just wanted to find out what was he gonna do.

Now..I don't even know how to describe how he looked. He looked like an idiot. He stared deep into my eyes. I feel like I'm burning. I hope I'm not that red how I feel. He leaned a bit foward. This is so fucking awkward. I'm sure the break will end soon. And..I was right. The bells rings and Jere snapped out of his mind and opened the door quickly and just ran away.

"Idiot.." I whispered and got up too. I closed the door and my friend looked at me really confused.

"Oh..I was just hiding there." I said quickly. And he just nodded and walked away. Awkward.

I got to the next lesson and I noticed Jere glanced at me quickly and looked at his phone again. I just sat down to my seat and putted my head on the desk like usually.

Jere
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What the fuck was I doing?! I can't even look at him normally. I mean I can't do eye contact with him. Because that would be more awkward. In the middle of the lesson I found myself staring at Juho and he caught me and I looked away. After all of that whatever it was, I tried to avoid Juho from now on. He tried to talk to me few times until I actually told him to leave me alone.

After that he indeed did that. He didn't tried to talk to me nor made eye contacts. We didn't hang out at school nor outside school. He was quiet in classes and I was too. Ofc I tried to respond to some of my friends and laugh with them. He didn't tho. He always lefted very quickly or very slowly out of the classrooms.

Why is he acting like this? I mean yeah I told him to leave me alone. But it's bothering me a lot now. Sure it was really awkward what happened but..why are we like this. Should I talk to him?