Homophobic but secretly gay

6.

Jere
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I don't know how to describe how I feel now. I was lost. I shouted at Juho and I don't exactly know why. He defended the freak girl. He didn't answer to my question if he was a freak too.

But..he didn't do anything wrong. Why did I shouted at him. Did I hurt him? He looked shocked and hurt, like I was when he shouted at me. Are we even best friends now? Or friends? Nothing at all? What now. Is this ever going to end.

On the next day he wasn't at school. Where is he? At home? Probably just slept too long and didn't come to school because of that. I should go check on him later after school. Or right after school. He probably doesn't want to see me or talk to me at all. And I get it, I called him a freak.
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Our school day was about to end. Nothing special happened. I felt empty and guilty. I started to feel sick. I asked the teacher if I could leave earlie. I got permission to that. So I left and I decided to go look for Juho from his home. When I got to his house I knocked to the door and his mother opened it. She said he wasn't here and all she knows is that he lefted and wanted some time for himself and he didn't told her where he went. I thanked her letting me know and left.

Where could he go? Does he even have any place he would like to go? I drived for a while and I remember the place where we were eating many days ago. I drove to the place and lefted my ATV a little further. I walked on the hill and there he was. Sitting silently on the grass. Lost in his thoughts. I kinda felt scared to go up to him. What would I say? He could punch me. He's not scared to do that and I can say it would hurt really bad.

I took a deep breath and carefully walked foward. He raised his head and quickly looked at me. I got scared of the look he gave to me. But then he looked shocked because I was there for him. It was really quiet.

"Hey..." I said and looked away of him.

"...What do you want?" He asked and looked back at where he was looking before I came here.

"Not even 'hi'? I deserve that..I-" I began to talk."I'm sorry for shouting at you. And for that I said you are a freak. I didn't mean it. Sorry.." I apologized and looked back at him.

He was quiet for a while. Then he sighed. "I accept your apology."

My pain got slightly better and I was glad he forgave me this quickly.

"So..uh. About the gir-"

"Boy. He is a boy." He interrupted me.

"Uh yeah..about the boy." I corrected myself.

"Did you apologized to him? I bet you didn't even saw him today." He guessed. And he was right.

"Yeah..I didn't. But I know I should." I said.

"Yes you should."

"I-uh. I have thought of it and I wouldn't mind if you are..you know, like...gay." I mumbled. God this was so embarrasing.

It was quiet again. He got up and turned around to look at me. He walked foward and stopped right in front of me. We just stood there silently looking at each other.

Juho
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I looked at his eyes and then his lips and then eyes again. I took a deep breath. All I hear is my heart beating really fast. My hands are a bit shaky. I'm going to do it.

I put my hand slowly on his cheek. I leaned foward and said, "Do you accept this then?" I kissed him. I can feel how red I am now. I feel his hand on my waist. He pulls me closer and kissed back. He pulled away and we looked at each other. He was really red too.

"I-whoah. Wha-" He couldn't say a word.

"Heh. You liked it didn't you?" I smirked and he blushed even more.

"...Shithead." He mumbled and looked away.

I gently turned his head towards me and kissed him again. "Dickhead." I said against his lips and continued kissing him.

The kiss was a bit longer than the first one. I put my hand on his neck and he puts his hands on my back. He pulled off and took a breath.

"Sheeesh.." He said and I laughed a bit.

"Yea I know." I said smirking at him.

"Fuck you." He said. I smirked before starting to make out with him.

I kissed his cheek and then neck leaving a small hickey on it. I kissed him on his lips again, they were so soft. I pulled him more closer and I touched his lower back under his shirt and it made him flinch a bit which made me smirk. We took two short breaths and continued. He had his hands wrapped around my neck and trying not to fall backwards. "Man what I got myself into." He muttered and shoving his tongue back into my mouth. I hummed against his lips and kissed him back.

He pulled off, "Okay I need to breath now!" He said and catching to his breath.

"Aw man but I wanted more." I said playfully. He rolled his eyes. I rolled my eyes to mock him which in return he pocked me.

"Ouch, don't have to be so mad." I said laughing a bit again. "So...you are my boyfriend now?" I asked.

"...Well yeah. Didn't we just make out shithead?" He asnwered."You are dumb, did you know that?" He sarcastically asked.

"I'm not dumb! You idiot, I just wanted to make it clear that you are mine." I replied to him.

He was quiet now, he blushed a bit more. He leaned his head against my chest and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back and smiled. This worked out perfectly.

He pulled off and looked at me. "Um..We can't do this at school then." He said.

"Oh yeah...What are we gonna do then?" I asked.

"Just like normally. Nobody would noticed. We cleared things up and we are best friends again. Nobody would know we are actually more than that." Jere said.

"Mh..I guess that's what we have to do." I sighed.

It actually hurted. I wanted to be with him like this but I guess it wouldn't be so nice when everyone would know about us. So I get it what he means.