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"I'm suprised that you still standing." . . .
Do he need to survive this? his past and everything has haunted them till now, he can't go anywhere and all he can is stay silence.
He want to scream for help but for some reason, he felt like he'll be a burden if he do.
Staying silence while putting that smile is the best option sometimes, many people has done that only to make the others didn't worry about them but the scratch only keep growing if you keep being silence.
Open up is the best thing, it can release the burden that has clinging on your heart to no end until you open your mouth and say your problem.
Accept people's help, let them talk to you and let them go through you so they can see what have you been through and help you.
Does he need any of those? He thinks that he doesn't need to cause he sees himself as a strong person and sometimes he sees himself as a fragile person.
Loving yourself doesn't make you a narcissist.
Does he love himself? Yes he do, he do love himself and he doesn't like himself being all sad. He want to be happy, he want to stay with his friends and let the bright smile stuck on his face.
But how can you stay besides them when they're gone? Not all life can be what you expected to be, you can't be happy without a sadness to it and you can't be sad without a happiness to it.
Life have a balance.
Your life and that is your choice, the path is your choice and you'll make your own fate in the future.
But...
Sometimes people let the others choose their path cause they can't choose where they will be going and thinks is the best choice for them letting the others choice leading them but what happened if they're gone? Finding another one to choose your path?
This life filled with many choices and if you can't choose then you cannot live.
He doesn't know what path is better for him to choose, he doesn't want to make another mistake just because of his own decision.
He want to make things better, he want to make everything's better but he felt like every decision he made is just a bad thing for him to the point he gave up on choosing where he want to go because he doesn't want to mess up.
He stuck on a maze with nowhere to leave.
He's tired of everything, does he need to keep on walking forward? Maybe he should but his mind thinking all negative, what happened if that is the worst decision he ever made in his entire life to continue the path.
Does he need to stop walking forward? He knew that he can't do that but what can he do? He doesn't want to suffer anymore and he only want to see a good thing on his life, everyone wants to be happy.
His head filled with many thoughts.
Overthinking.
Anxiety.
Should he keep walking forward and see the future that has await for him? Should he just make his own ending right now?
You can always add more questions to your mind but the answer will be forever be unfound unless you try to find the answer.
.
.
.
"Am I good enough to stay with you?"
Does he? He doesn't know, the sins that he made towards his own friends, hurting them, making them carried the cuts that has created by his own hand and smiled at him with a bright smile and tells him that everything will be fine.
He just gonna stay in the dark and watches them from the darkness, he is sure that everybody will be happy without him in their life and he thinks is time for him to let him go.
He thinks leaving them is the best option, they won't suffer anymore and the more far his figure away from them, the more happy they are.
He loves his friends, they're the reason that he keeps moving but is time for them to be free, they have been staying beside him for long, no matter how hurt it is to get hurted by him, leaving them with a big scratch that can't be healed just like that but they still choose to stay beside him with a gentle smile that could melt his heart to be gentle.
But why?...
Do you think is time for you to let me go?
He doesn't know what he did in the past unless you tell him what he did, I may did something worst but you can't just stay silence only not make me guilty.
He may be heartless on people's eyes but on the bottom of his heart, he cared about everyone around him and is hard for him to see them disappeared one by one from next to him.
Thinking about this making his head hurt so he decided to not to think about it.
He chooses to live. For now.
3rd March.
I
Don't
Need
Your
Care
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