Turning Page || Levi Ackerman

6: New Moon Night

To have a full experience, I highly, highly, highly suggest listening to Saturn by Sleeping at Last, for the last scene. (There are 4 scenes in total.)  And this Fourth of July for the first 3 scenes. 

But if you are lazy, then the last scene with music is a must in my opinion. (There is a part where it just fits so well.) The links are in the comments.

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JAN 846

Levi stands in front of the abandoned warehouse, staring at its structure big and gray.

The atmosphere is stifling, brimming with emptiness and the silence is haunting.

It reminds Levi of all the people that once lived here. All the people that have now been sacrificed just so that the rest of humanity can survive. And as much as he hates to visit this place, life just pushes him here again and again.

First to check up on the physical state of the evacuees and now in search of her. The woman who has countlessly left him waiting on the steps of her house. And now she has fled somewhere.

It's been 3 days since that dreaded mission, and he has searched for Mae everywhere. The place near the river, the market, and even under her bed. That stupid woman didn't even lock her house properly. Someone could have easily stepped right in and robbed her of every item she possessed.

Cold air hits him as he steps into the warehouse.

The mats are worn out, jam packed on the floor, and the minimal property that the evacuees had is scattered near them, long forlorn and forgotten.

Far towards the corner, a stranded figure lies on a worn-out mat, curled into a ball. And Levi knows it's her when he sees the same ragged dull clothes she's always wearing.

"Mae," her body is still, back facing towards him. Her shoulders aren't shaking and from this angle he can't even see the mild rise of her tummy as she breathes.

His legs jog towards her on their own accord, and his breath quivers at the sight of her.

Her hair is tangled, strewn all over the mattress and her clothes hang a little looser on her body. In her hands, she's clutching on to some clothes. It's a checkered shirt and a gown, and he knows by memory that it's her parent's.

Levi's hands curve around her shoulder as he helps her up. Her eyes don't meet his, but he can tell plenty by seeing the state she is in.

Her cheekbones have hollowed, and her eyelashes are clumpy, sticky with tears. Her lips are chapped, and he doesn't know how long it's been since she has eaten or even had any water.

"Mae are you okay?" He knows she isn't, but he doesn't know what else to say. And he just wants her to say something.

But his question garners no response. Her eyes are still focused elsewhere, and her face is impassive.

Isabel would often hug Furlan when he was upset. But... he doesn't want to hug her. She probably hasn't bathed for 3 days, and he doesn't want to think of all the germs that are breeding on her skin.

"Oi, say something." He sways her shoulders gently, hoping to find a sign that she'll be fine. But she is silent again.

"Say something goddammit, talk about your romance collection or whatever," His fingertips press into her skin, as his patience wears thin. Desperation leeches his voice, and his voice comes out strained.

Mae looks up at him, gaze sharp as a fresh batch of tears roll down her cheeks.

"What am I Levi?... What am I?... I'm not a daughter anymore, not a sister, not even a friend, or a cousin...or a relative? So what am I now?" Her voice is merely above a whisper. It's crumbling, laden with pain and exhaustion.

Levi's eyes flicker away as he looks to the side. The silence that falls next, is laced with unspoken words

You are my tutor.
He wants to say it out loud, and soothe her with his words. He knows the pain she is in, and he wants to pacify her with the little softness that hides in his rugged soul.

But the words are caught in his throat, lost on the tip of his tongue. Drowning in the influx of his thoughts and hesitancy.

It's just 4 words, but he can't get it out. It makes him feel weak and vulnerable... It makes him feel like he needs her.

And he does, all this time he needed her to learn and adapt to the new culture. And he needed her when piles of paperwork stacked up on his desk, and he couldn't understand a single word.

It's an unequal dynamic, he needs her, but there is nothing he can offer in return, It makes him feel weak and saying it out loud feels harder than slaying a titan.

Mae finds the silence loud. It screams to her that he doesn't have an answer, and at the end she's truly all alone in the world now.

In the back of her mind, she had known that now that everyone who cared for her was gone, her life didn't matter to anyone. That she didn't matter anymore. And for the first time it hurt so much to be right all along.

Why was she even expecting some reassuring words from Levi, when she knew the answer to her question? Why did she ever think she would be of any importance to him?

Her gaze falls, and she turns away from him, planning to flop down on the mat again. But warm hands stop her this time One slides down her waist, and the other dries of her tears, with a napkin fiddled in its fingers.

"Let's go home."

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