Jerrie Oneshot Book

Pineapple on Pizza?

Summary: Perrie needs a third-party opinion on an ongoing argument, so she calls the first number she can find in the phone book.

It's not the first time they've had the argument. It definitely won't be the last. And, like usual, it's really just a series of back and forths of directly opposing opinions that never come to a conclusion.

But Perrie's tired of it, which is why, when Leigh-Anne is halfway through her defence of why pineapple should absolutely be allowed on pizza, Perrie grabs an old phonebook she's really not sure why they even still bother to send out and slightly aggressively flings it open.

"What are you doing?" Leigh-Anne asks and at least it wasn't her asking Perrie is she even had taste buds again, or asking if her flavor palette was really one to judge.

"We need an unbiased, third-party opinion, so I'm just gonna call the first thing I see and ask." They couldn't exactly ask any of their other friends since they'd unanimously agreed the pineapple debate was an inevitable segue into World War three and refused to ever utter their true opinions on the matter.

Perrie chooses a number at random without paying much attention to the name, or the picture the number is splayed across. She has her mission and she's not faltering. Leigh-Anne must pay attention though because her eyes go comically wide.

"Hang up immediately," she insists. Perrie lets it ring, just barely resisting the urge to stick her tongue out.

"You've reached Gorgey Huns Services; do you have any caller preferences today?" Gorgey Huns? Caller preferences. Oh. She was calling a phone sex operator. And there was absolutely no way she could flinch or back out now.

Just lean back on politeness. "Um, anyone will do, ma'am. Thank you."

"Oh, I know just the girl for you. Hold on just a second."

Perrie hums in thanks. She taps her fingers along to whatever kind of erotic music is playing down the speaker, and smacks Leigh-Anne's hand away with a completely non-threatening glare when she tries to grab her phone away.

"Hello love, my name's Amelia and how can I satisfy you tonight?" Perrie doesn't know what she expected to come down the line, but it certainly wasn't a voice like that. A voice that made her instantly understand why people did this phone sex thing. Low and husky and coated in honey.

"I need you to satisfy a dispute." The oddness of that statement is highlighted by the surprised sound that echoes down the line. "Oh, also, I'm Perrie, hi. That was rude of me."

"A dispute? I'm intrigued, Perrie."

"You have a lovely voice," Perrie slips. Leigh-Anne mouths 'what the fuck' at her and, yeah, that was pretty much exactly what she was thinking too.

"Oh, so you do want my usual services?" The voice, Amelia, says amusedly.

"Oh, no, that totally slipped out. Sorry. Not that I doubt your services are great. I'm sure you're amazing at..." Perrie trails off.

Amelia picks it up smoothly, "Getting people off?" Perrie blushes instantly. She thinks Amelia probably could've filled the silence in with anything and made her blush. Her voice was so emotive. Perrie felt like she needed to take several layers off to cool down. She was already in a tank top and pajama shorts.

"Yes. That. Well, anyway, goodnight, Amelia," she scrambles through and for a second all she receives in return is laughter. It drips down Perrie's spine.

"Didn't you have a dispute to settle?"

"Right, uh," Perrie chuckles awkwardly. "Um, pineapple on pizza - yes or no?"