Gram Parsnips and Keef Richerd Gay Ass Story

Hot Burrito (in a sexual sense)

ONCE UPON A TIME, IN the land of Villa Nelcote circa 1971, two little heroin addicts named Keith and Gram were socializing in their homey little basement that definitely did not contain nazi memorabilia.
"Ehyghyhg... GRAM you're a genius." Keith exclaimed as Gram told him of his many alien theories.
"I was out at the Joshua Tree and I tell you. Huge fucking saucer flying in the sky. Lights and shapes and colors EVERYWHERE." Gram warbled, forgetting that he had been tripping on peyote.
Keith figured Gram was hallucinating that night but he decided to humor him anyway, because earlier that year he himself had seen aliens in his garden. "No man, I believe you. The universe is .. h.. just so big... there has to be something else out there.."
Gram collapsed onto his back violently and Keith rubbed his nose suspiciously.
"Err... you okay?"
Gram popped up and nodded his head "I just really wanted to do that."
Keith smiled this big, genuine smile, because he was in love with Gram. In a homosexual manner.
"You're the most wonderful man I've ever met," he mused in his weird gravelly drugged out voice. Gram stared at him with his basset hound ass eyes for about 6 seconds before blinking once and shrugging, replying "Well, that wasn't my intention."
What he did not mention was his entire digestive system was crawling with many winged insects, and his heart was pumping so fast he almost thought for a second he was going to die and go up to the big burrito in the sky.

Later that night they slept in the same bed (as usual) and Keith avoided touching Gram at all until he fell asleep. Then he started touching him very lovingly and gently. They were two little snuggle bugs.

Mick jaggy walked in at 9 am when they were still asleep and looked at them, gasping in disgust because Gram was stealing Keith away from him.
"UGH!" He screamed, throwing a shoe at Gram as he slept, which did not wake him up. "YOU TWO ARE FUCKING DISGUSTING."
He stomped out sassily.

Later Keith woke up to Gram snorting a substance off of his bare torso. This was not alarming to Keith, in fact he just laid there as this happened.
Gram giggled hysterically once he was finished snorting and did a backflip.
"Errhegg.. Gram.. what was that you just snorted off me chest..." Keith jumbledy mumbled.
"KETAMINE!!!!😊" Screeched Gram happily.
"Oh no no... that's.. no...don't do that again Gram... that's bad.." Said Keith, because that was too much for even him.
"You can't tell me what to do you skinny english tart."
"Yes I can so," quipped Keith with raised brows, "You err- skinny.. Floridian hillbilly."
Gram then tackled Keith and twisted one of his freakishly small pointy nipples off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGHHHHHHHH!!!!! YOU'VE TWISTED MY GOD DAMN NIPPLE OFF!!!!" Screamed Keith in agony.
Gram sat down and started playing with the nipple in adorable content which made Keith's heart melt even though there was blood streaming down his body from his nipple hole.
"Okay..okay.. you keep that.. that's a good boy.." he rubbed Gram's head.
Gram BIT his hand viciously and growled, foaming at the mouth.
Keith groaned in pain and despair, "AGH FUCK. YOU'VE GONE RABID. I HATE THIS." He started to walk away but Gram started running circles around the room and crawling on the ceiling with spit flying everywhere. It was at this moment Keith wondered if he needed to call animal control. He decided not, and grabbed an antique shotgun from a display case.
"This is just like Old Yeller.." he frowned to himself as he pointed the gun at Gram's head.
Suddenly Mick ran in and started screaming at the top of his lungs. "KEITH. CONTROL YOUR REDNECK. HE'S SHAKING THE ENTIRE HOUSE-" Mick went white as he saw the gun and the frothy Parsons.
"Oh my god," he whispered, "This is just like Old Yeller."
Keith lowered the gun and backed away slowly from the both of them. "Mick.. I don't wanna do it. I love- I mean I err. He's a hip little dude. It would be a waste."
Mick rolled his eyes dramatically and grabbed the gun out of Keith's hands. "IT MUST BE DONE."
"NO MICK NO PLEASE DON'T DO IT," screamt Keith, grabbing spitty growling Gram and dragging him away, trying to get him to stop being rabid and feral.
"Listen to me Gram. You can handle any drug on the face of the earth. Just because you snorted ketamine off my torso once doesn't give you an excuse to go rabid and run around biting innocent people."
Gram slurped the froth back into his mouth. "Yeah. You're right Keith. I'm real sorry." He hugged Keith tightly and started sobbing like a pressure washer.
"There there!" Reassured Keith, patting his back gently and thinking about how Mick called Gram HIS redneck rather than just a redneck.
Mick stood there and stared at them with his eye twitching before screaming like a pubescent girl, "UGGHH!" and walking out.
   Gram pressure washed the entire basement with his tears so that everything was sparkly clean. He and Keith sat together and sang songs about crying and sex for hours in the shiny wet basement.
Keith stared at Gram's almost unibrow for an uncomfortable amount of time before grabbing him by the shirt and KISSING HIM WITH A FIREY INTENSITY.
"HHHHYOU'RE GONNA FEEL MY HOT BURRITO #4 TONIGHT KEEFY BABY," Gram caterwauled.
Keith screamed out a series of vulgar words and sounds. They then went at it like insane horny rabbits.
The end.