The Will to Live - Xiao x Reader

Part 19 - Y/N

"I... I love you." Xiao turned red, but he didn't avoid eye contact this time.

You were stunned. Xiao said that he loves me? Your thoughts spiralled out of control, Did he force himself to say that?

"Y/N?" He steps closer to you, "Please say something."

"I... F*ck. I can't think." You struggle, "Sorry, I uhm... Didn't expect that."

Xiao sat next to you on the bed and began to stroke your hair, just as you'd done. You wanted to say something but, words betrayed you. Xiao flinched before his hand reached your hair but he continued to run his fingers through your hair.

"Xiao..." You hesitate, Please say no. "Are you scared of me?"

He placed his hand in his lap and sighed, "I don't know, honestly." He turned to look at you, "You comfort me and I like being around you but... There're times I don't know what's going on. When I don't know what your intention is... Yes." He looked back down, "You do scare me."

You tighten your fists, Sh*t.

"I'm sorry." Xiao grabbed your hands, "I don't understand this. I... I don't know how to show affection and I'm... I'm not used to physical contact either."

You heard his heartbeat rise and he covered his face with his hands. 

"Xiao, please tell me if you're scared." You ask, "I love you and I'm sor..."

Xiao grabbed you by the waist and pulled you onto him. He nestled his face into your neck and hugged you tight. You gently wrapped your arms around his back and began to stroke his back.

"Is something wrong?" You ask quietly, "I'm here for you."

He pulled you closer, "I..." Xiao took a deep breath and loosened his hug, "I'm scared."

Those words rang through your head, "I'm scared..." 

"Y/N," Xiao mumbled. "Please don't leave me." He let his head flop onto your neck and his breathing returned to normal.

Has he fallen asleep? You gently lay him down on the bed, He has. You smiled, Xiao was sleeping peacefully for once... Yet you couldn't help but adore him. You lightly tapped your cheeks, I need to be awake in case he has another nightmare, You yawned. You also had nightmares about the people you'd killed as well as the people who'd died in front of you but, no one else knew... You didn't want others to know. I want to protect him...

***

"Morning Y/N." Xiao woke you up and offered you a glass of water.

"Uh... Good morning." You turn red and sit up, Why am I in bed? Did I..? No, I fell asleep on the chair, didn't I?

"Oh, by the way." Xiao interrupted your thoughts, "I woke up before you so I let you sleep on the bed for a bit. The chair didn't look very comfortable."

You sighed in relief, "How long have you been awake for?" You swing your legs over the side of the bed.

Xiao sat in the chair next to the bed, "Probably like, around 10 minutes... I think."

You laughed, "You don't know, do you?" 

Xiao blushed from embarrassment, "Nope."

Someone knocked on the door, "Can I come in?" Aether asked.

"Sure," You responded.

"I, uh..." Aether looked at Xiao and hesitated, "Brought both of you some food... Although, I didn't know what you'd want, Y/N."

"They like (favourite food)," Xiao spoke quickly. Something's been awkward between those two since the day I passed out.

"I see," Aether placed an Almond tofu in front of Xiao and walked over to you. "I can feed you if you need," He smiled.

"Uh, no thanks." You turn red and try to smile, "I can feed myself."

Aether sat down on the bed next to me and Xiao clenched his fists, it was clear Xiao didn't like how close Aether was to you. I don't get why Xiao and Aether can't get along. Is it because of me? You all just sat there in complete silence and it was... Excruciatingly awkward.

"So..." You start.

"How's the Adeptus been treating you?" Aether asked.

"Uhm," I can't just tell him that we kissed. "It's been... Nice."

Aether looked at you and then Xiao, then looked at you again. "Has he been... Good company?" He interrogated.

"What do you mean by that?" Xiao spoke harshly.

"Oh nothing~," Aether teased. "Hey, aren't you neglecting your 'contract with Rex Lapis' by taking care of Y/N? They must be very special to you."

"Aether!" You were annoyed, Why is Aether acting like this? "Could you at least try not to be rude?"

Aether chewed on his bottom lip and balled his fists, "Sorry."

"You're right Aether," Xiao looked away. "Y/N is very important to me. They're the god that all life depends on after all."

"That's not what I meant," Aether said under his breath.

"Y/N is very important to me. They're the god that all life depends on after all." What did he mean by that? Your heart sank slightly, Am I just a god in his eyes? You remembered what he'd said, "I love you." Does he actually love me? You questioned, Or does he feel obligated to?

"Y/N?" Xiao walked up to you, completely ignoring Aether. "Are you alright?"

He lifted your chin gently to face him. His eyes were filled with concern, you nod your head slightly and turn red. Being flustered in front of Xiao was embarrassing enough but, Aether was there too. I love you, Xiao.

"I should get going," Aether stood up. "I'm going to ask around about getting to Inazuma tomorrow. I'm hoping that I might at least find a clue to my sisters' whereabouts."

"I hope you find her," You smile. "Call my name if you get into trouble and... I'd recommend trying to stay away from Baal; the Raiden Shougun."

"I'll try. Oh before I go, Y/N do you know much about the 'vision hunt decree'?" I've heard it's a big deal."

"All I know is that the Shougun is taking people's vision, I'm sorry I couldn't be more help."

Aether said goodbye and left the room. I hope he stays safe in Inazuma, I doubt Baal would like a visionless human going around manipulating Elemental Energy.

"He's finally gone," Xiao sighed and you looked at him disappointed. "Sh*t. I'm sorry I didn't mean to say that out loud."

"Yeah?" You sighed, "That doesn't make it much better. What's with you two anyway?"

"Well, uhm." Xiao looked away, "We both like you."

So it is my fault they won't get along? Plus, how does their opinion of me affect their opinion of each other? You felt a small amount of anger rise.

"So, I'm a prize that you're both fighting over?" You ask tactlessly (rudely).

"No!" Xiao panicked, "I'm sorry. I... I was jealous."

"You both were," You state.

"I..."

"Don't worry." You cut in, "I forgive you. It's not like I can force you two to get along."

You didn't like being rude, especially to Xiao. I shouldn't push my anger on him, You tell yourself.

"I just..." Xiao starts, "You mean a lot to me and... I don't want to lose you."

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A/N: Sorry for the late post but here it is! If you have a recommendation for the chapter title feel free to leave it in the comments and I might use it. Thank you so much for the support!

Take care.