For You (DISCONTINUED)

Six

I opened the latch door and crawled through, pulling myself up and onto the floor. There was a blanket of dust that draped over everything. I sneezed and dust flew into the air. Has it been that long since you died? Fuck.

I stood up and brushed myself off before walking over to the windowsill. I sat down on the cushions, dust went everywhere again. I didn't even fucking care.

The sun was peaking over the trees now. It lit up the treehouse and I looked around. Our pictures still hung on the walls. The giant teddy bear still sat in the corner. The window still overlooked that gorgeous field. It was still the same. Why did it feel so different?

I lifted my finger and ran it over the crack that stretched through the window. The two halves of the window fit together so perfectly. But it was broken, sharp. I looked at my finger and saw a drop of blood fall onto the floor. The window was broken. Can it be that you connect so much to a broken fucking window? Because I did. I do. That broken window is so much like me.

I wiped the blood on my jeans and returned my focus to the window. Well not exactly the window, the view the window held. I smiled slightly to myself as I looked over the field. The fruit trees were blossoming. The small white flowers were absolutely beautiful as the sun glimmered over them. The bushes were becoming overgrown. They grew in wild directions. But they were meant to be there. That field was breathtaking. I wish you could have seen it one last time.

I leaned back against the cool wooden wall and let my eyes drift shut. My head became hazy, filled with the thoughts of you.

***

"Austin!" I shot up and looked around, realizing I was now sitting on the bed next to you.

"Dani," The sound of your voice immediately calmed me. My heart rate slowed down a bit and my breathing steadied. I leaned back into you as you wrapped your arms around me.

"Are you okay?.." Your voice filled with worry. I rested my head against your chest and listened to your heartbeat for a bit before answering.

"It was just a nightmare.." I whispered into your shirt.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

I closed my eyes before shaking my head. I didn't want to talk about it. The thought of losing you haunts me. I hate it..

"Okay.." You nodded slightly before relaxing back against the pillows. I layed my head on your chest, matching my breathing with yours. "If and when you're ready to talk about it, I'll be here."

I looked up at you and the corners of my mouth turned towards the sky a little. "Thank you," I mumbled before resting my head back onto your chest.

"Anytime, love." You kissed my head softly and grabbed a blanket, covering me before you closed your eyes. We stayed like that for a while. I felt so secure in your arms..

"Austin.." My voice was tiny. It disappeared into thin air and I thought it never made its way to you.

"Yes darling?" Your voice was sleepy, quiet and low. I loved it.

"My nightmares... They're about losing you." As I spoke, I settled back down next to you.

"I'm not going anywhere. I wouldn't leave you Dani, ever. Know that I love you with ever ounce of my soul." You whispered into my hair. Your hand ran over my arm, reassuring me that you wouldn't leave me.

"Please," My voice cracked. I gulped in a breath of air before continuing. "Please don't make any promises you can't keep." A tear slid down my cheek and my chest suddenly became heavy.

"I won't ever leave you. I promise." You nuzzled the top of my head and wrapped your arms around me again. I nodded, my head still on your chest. Knowing you wouldn't ever leave me, I drifted into a light sleep again..

***

When I returned to reality, a pile of hair sat beside me. Fuck, again?! I let my head fall back against the wooden wall. A creak left the wall, like a grunt would leave a young, pissed off child. Why must the stupid trich control me? I try so hard. So fucking hard. You knew I did. You were the only one that understood that I can't control this. I try so fucking hard. Ugh. This is awfully stressful.

I brushed the pile of hair into the far corner with my foot. I hated these habits. These freaking hellish habits. I needed you to help me with this. But you left me. I'm here all alone. Why did you leave me?

You promised Austin.
You broke that fucking promise.