branded (phantoms mc #2)

twenty-six: in which she removes one brick from her wall

"I was lying to you, baby, when I said my love grew cold" –Wyatt, Attention

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Some things were better off unsaid.

I knew I had issues. Just like how I knew how good Jack and Coke were together – I knew I had some fucking issues.

I could hold a grudge until the end of time. I could make sure that that grudge was as fresh as one of Eve's bran cakes. And I loved revenge. God, did I love my vengeance. There was that darkness in me, that thirst for blood, but then there was the part of me that I hated the most. The part of me that was shaped by my parents, by Camila's disappearance.

That part was weak.

Bree was tending the bar that night, and while I was grateful that it wasn't Ripper, I definitely wasn't in the mood for Bree's perkiness. She must've seen the look on my face because she wordlessly mixed me a Jack and Coke and pushed the glass towards me. No coaster or paper napkin? Ghost would lose his shit if he could see her. I mentally laughed, picking the glass up.

I looked at the people milling around me at the bar, the sounds of their mindless chatter and laughter reminding me of mosquitoes. I'd thought being here, at The Wreck, would give me some kind of, I don't know, comfort, but all it made me feel was incredibly fucking lonely.

I thought about calling Fish – I mean, she was always up for a drink – but then, she'd definitely want to talk. Talking was the last thing I wanted to do right now.

"What's that supposed to mean, Cam?"

"Don't be naïve," she replied, letting out a dry laugh. "You know exactly what the Phantoms do – what Zeus did. Her first dealer was our perfect father."

She put emphasis on the word 'perfect', letting me know exactly how she felt about Zeus.

I stood up, and Camila followed suit. "I'm not going to talk about this any further, Camila. He's not here to defend himself."

"Defend himself? Why the fuck do you idolize that man so much?" she hissed at me.

"When you were gone and Dana was doing whatever the fuck, he was all I had!" I couldn't help the fact that I was raising my voice. "And holy shit, Cam, he loved the hell out of me. Maybe because I was all he had, too."

"He was no different than the men on that island."

My hand whipped her cheek so fast and so hard that Camila had whiplash. She stood there, facing me, bringing her own hand to touch her reddening cheek. I felt like hot garbage.

I replayed the scene over and over in my head. It was always going to end with me slapping her, no matter how many times I thought about it. God, the way she'd just stood there, like she was used to it. Used to getting beat on. I'd had to leave right after.

Camila didn't know our father the way I did. She didn't know what he'd done. What he'd sacrificed. She didn't know what he'd gone through after she'd been taken from us. She only saw the Phantoms part of his life; the part that reminded her of the pieces of shit that violated her on that island. That irrevocably ruined her life.

Insinuating that Zeus had pushed drugs onto Dana? That was beyond fucked up.

Bree made me two more drinks on the rocks, which I downed in quick succession before getting to my feet and pushing my way through the throng of people standing on the floor.

The door to Ghost's office loomed in front of me, and I was caught by the painful memory of what he'd said to me the last time I'd stood there.

Boo-fucking-hoo, Pussy, the voice in my head scolded me.