branded (phantoms mc #2)

thirty-three: in which she misses her mother

"So your future's lost, but they can't take your past" –Bastille, No Bad Days

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"What can I get you?" the waitress asked, notebook in hand. Her eyes drifted from me, to Dana, then back to me again.

"Cheeseburger and fries, please," I told her.

I wondered if Dana even remembered that this was where she used to take Camila and me when we were younger. Once upon a time, I'd loved this diner. It had been one of the few places that held good memories of my mother. I felt a pinch of nostalgia when a montage of Cam and I sharing a huge chocolate-and-vanilla shake while Dana sat across from us with a plate of fries slathered in ketchup, asking us how school was.

In hindsight, she had probably had the munchies.

"Dana?" I prodded. "What do you want to eat?"

Dana's eyes were still trained on the laminated menu in front of her. She dragged a finger down the page before looking up at the waitress, who had been waiting patiently for the past ten minutes. "Large chili fries," she said finally. "Please."

"Is that all, sweetheart?" The woman was looking at Dana like she was a child.

My mother nodded, tucking a hank of bone-straight silver hair behind her ear. The summery cornflower-blue dress she wore made her seem younger, and maybe that was because it belonged to Camila. I couldn't remember the last time I'd seen my mother in a dress.

"Get us two Cokes, please," I told the waitress, and she nodded before leaving. "Do you remember this place, Dana?"

She raised a perfectly-shaped brow at me. "Why wouldn't I?"

Because it's been years. Because you're not all there.

"It's been a long time," I reminded her.

"It hasn't changed." She glanced around, smiling for the first time. From our table by the windows, she could see all the other booths, and the bustling street outside. "I went to school with Fred and Lorna's daughter. They owned this place. Did you know that? I wonder if they're still alive."

"Fred died two years ago, and Lorna moved out to Australia to be with their daughter."

Dana's face fell. "Oh. How sad."

"Yeah," I said, remembering how devastated Lorna had been to lose her husband of over fifty years. This diner had probably held too many reminders for her. The new owners hadn't changed a thing – not the faded red-and-white checkered wallpaper, not the peeling leather seats, and certainly not the scratched wooden tables. It was kind of endearing.

"Why aren't you and Marlon married?"

If I'd been drinking something, I'd probably have spit it out right then. "Excuse me?"

Dana cocked her head to one side, almost like a little child would. "That boy has loved you forever. I would've thought he'd put a ring on it by now. Given me some grandbabies."

"And just how could you tell that, huh?" I seethed. "Half the time you ever saw him, you were out of your mind on drugs."

Dana let out an audible breath. "Will you ever forgive me for that, Lina?"

I looked away from her imploring eyes. These moments of extreme clarity and normalcy were becoming way too frequent these days. She didn't remember coming into my room a day ago, but she remembered that Cam and Leo were gone. I really just wanted to find out if her meds needed to be adjusted, but a selfish part of me wondered if, now that Cam was gone, I could shove Dana into a care home and forget about her. That selfish part of me was growing every minute I spent caged up in the house with her.