Occasionally

Alex is tense.

We did not talk on the way back to Los Banos. I was lost in thoughts about how I screwed and not screwed things up. Karl was just looking at the scenery, his head almost sticking out the open window. He did not play any Taylor Swift and just played a random playlist on my phone.

The thing that I was most confused about was how early our date have ended. It seemed very short for me—I wanted to be with him for a little longer even though we've been together since the morning. Usually, my dates would end at midnight—reserved for first to third dates—or in the morning—when either they or I initiated sex. But definitely not 4 PM.

When I turned left towards the road to UPLB, I asked him, "Where do I drop you off?"

He did not respond at first.

"Karl?"

He sighed. "Look. I'm really sorry about earlier. This guilt wouldn't just leave me alone."

"We're cool, right?" I reassured him. "We both enjoyed that."

"But I'm really guilty about killing the mood."

A jeepney stopped in front of us. I hit the brakes and turned at him, smiling. "There's always a next time for that, okay?"

"I..." I sighed. "I-I want you to stay longer."

My face lit up. "Really?"

"Usually at these times the traffic in Pansol would be really heavy, so it's best if you can stay here later than usual."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Yes, I am."

"Alright, so where should we stay, then?"

"How about at my apartment?"

I gulped when he answered that. I need to limit myself this time. I don't want to screw things up again. Not to Karl.

---

Karl insisted that I park my car in Centtro Mall, a small town mall near the UP Campus, for one reason: we're going incognito.

He explained things on the way to his apartment:

He lives with his colleagues in a huge house; basically, they're his housemates. Luckily today, they were out and will not return until Monday, so we have the whole house to ourselves. (This particular fact scared me—how can I keep myself in control when almost all the signs lead to that?)But, there's always a chance that they may come back, so it's best to hide the car far away from his apartment. And, there's really no available parking space since one of his housemates' cars was already parked there.He's not out to his housemates or his other colleagues. Not yet. And he doesn't want to stir controversy or gossip.

It was almost a fifteen-minute walk towards their apartment. When we arrived, the first thing that I noticed was the worn-out color of the walls—it was almost a faded shaded of green like it was originally painted in neon green or mint. Different plants surround the edges of the house. At the side was a maroon SUV that belonged to one of Karl's housemates. It really looks like a house made for a family—its windows have a small mesh filter for mosquitos, a small chime on the doorstep, and Christmas decorations hanging on the veranda.

"Sorry it looks so messy," Karl noted.

But I don't think there was any dust on the floor. In fact, inside the house looked warm, cozy, and familiar. The living room on the right has a large maroon sofa set on the right and a widescreen TV hanging on the wall. The left side has a dining table for four and a small kitchen. The walls were painted white with murals hanging on the wall, and the floor had these marble-like tiles that were cold to the touch.