how you get the girl

three

november 10

it has been 12 hours since i last saw lacey and we exchanged phone numbers.

in those 12 hours we have sent a mass amount of texts back and forth.

in those 12 hours i have discovered that her favorite color is dark magenta and her favorite candle scent is honeysuckle and her room is painted eggshell white.

i found out that her middle name is marie, and that she doesnt like it, but i think its adorable. i also pointed out to her that her initials are l.m.n. and she said she knew but she liked that i noticed.

in those 12 hours i have also texted ashton and he continues to tell me that i am "whipped as fuck" and "sickeningly infatuated". if i'm honest, i didn't know ashton could spell 'infatuated'.

i sighed and put down my phone after my stomach let out a loud grumble. after scavenging through the mess that i called a kitchen, i ended up with a can of pringles and a sloppily made peanut butter sandwich. oh the joys of being an adult.

halfway through my lunch, my phone screen lit up and my new favorite "ding-ding-ding" rang through the room.

lacey from the store <3:
want to do something fun?

me:
that depends... will i die??

lacey from the store <3:
nooo youre coming to an art class with me in two days :)

me:
do you realize that i lack any and all artistic ability

lacey from the store <3:
theres free beer there

me:
ill be there.

lacey from the store <3:
you didnt have a choice in the first place, silly

me:
do i have to bring anything tho

lacey from the store <3:
bring your phone and your stunning good looks

me:
are you flirting with me???

lacey from the store <3:
absolutely not. i dont know why you would think that :P

me:
sureeeee

i set my phone down and realized that i'm grinning. lacey just has that effect on me, she's able to make me smile just by texting me.

of course if she knew how i was thinking, she'd most likely think i'm creepy or obsessive. we've only known each other for a week, after all.

my thoughts overwhelm me, causing me to doubt what i'm feeling. is this just puppy love? am i moving too fast into this? maybe she just wants to be friends. each thought is like a stab in the chest. my confidence rapidly plummets through the floor.

soon, i'm curled up on my couch under a multitude of blankets. the princess bride is playing on my tv screen and slow tears are rolling down my face.

this is a routine i go through at least once a week.

1) feel confident about myself
2) start doubting myself
3) think myself into a ravine of anxiety
4) watch a movie and cry

sometimes a friend or two come over and try to cheer me up. michael usually does the best job. he tends to let me play with his brightly pigmented hair and beat him at mario kart, even though we both know that he's better than me.

this time though, no one is here, it's just me and the anxiety crawling through my head.

i lay in my self pity until the movie comes to an end. even though its only a bit past 3 pm, my eyelids feel heavy. i let sleep wash over me, taking me away from the stress of reality.