Skips A Beat ::Wattys2016::

Chapter 26

Karen wants me to leave. I know she does. I can tell by the way that she enters the room every (approximately) 15 minutes to check on me. She tried talking to me earlier, but I can't focus on anything. I've forgotten what words sound like when they're spoken out loud. I keep myself balled up in his bed, breathing in the smell of him that's lingering.

I'm mad. I'm so upset that the only word for it is mad. I've surpassed anger, bitterness, frustration, fury, rage and become simply... mad. I'm mad at Karen and Daryl for taking this so well. I'm mad at God because he lied to me. I'm mad at nature for being a bitch. I'm mad at Calum for telling me to let him go. I'm mad at me for holding on too tightly. I'm mad at Michael for dying.

I stare at the wall. More precisely, at that picture of us from my brother's wedding. He looks so happy. My eyes wander to the picture beside it. It's the picture from his 18th birthday. Michael's eyes are wide, his jaw dropped in surprise as he looks at the camera. He looks so beautiful. So unaware that one day he'd be in a hospital dying. I want to go back to that, not the current. I want-

What was that? I stop my mental thoughts, listening to the sounds of... a guitar? Why is Michael playing now? I sit up, ready to tell him to be quiet, but them I remember. He's dead. My blood runs cold, as I realize that the guitar was only in my head. My pocket vibrates, so I reach down.

My heart yearns for it to be a text from Michael. My head knows that it's not, but my heart hasn't gotten the message yet. It's from Calum.

Cal: I'm coming.

I keep the phone close to my chest, turning the sound on. I'm not really sure what that's supposed to do to help me. Maybe it's just calming to have it on. Maybe I'm hoping to hear Michael's "bitches" ringtone. Maybe, if I sleep with it close to my head, it'll give me a tumor. Maybe I'll die.

It feels like time has frozen inside his room. How long have I been here? Minutes? Hours? Years? I don't remember. Do I want to remember? Probably not. I close my eyes, trying to will my numb mind to sleep.

"How do you think I'm going to get along, without you when you're gone." Michael sings, turning the song up on the radio. "You took me for everything that I had. And kicked me out on my own." He loves Queen. Scratch that... he loves music.

"Are you happy, are you satisfied?" He bobs his head to the beat. "How long can you stand the heat? Out of the doorway the bullets rip. To the sound of the beat."

"Another one bites the dust! Another one bites the dust! And another one gone, and another one gone. Another one bites the dust! Hey, I'm gonna get you, too. Another one bites the dust!"

The door creaks open. I blink, unable to move my eyes to look at who entered. It's so quiet without Michael's constant singing and laughter. It's so quiet. So qui-

"Luke." I jerk at my name, lifting my eyes slightly. Calum. The second my eyes meet his, I'm crying again. "Hey, hey. It's okay, man." He sits down beside me, pulling me up into his arms. I'm so weak, and so tired, that I just kind of lay there limply. It hurts to cry. It's causing real pain. "I went to your place, but you weren't there. I would have been here sooner, but I didn't know where you were." He says, straining to keep his voice even. He keeps talking, but I can't think straight.

I'm trying to compose a clear thought. Anything. I want to focus on Calum's words. I want his voice to distract me. I want him to pull me from the fog, but it's not working. I know that he's reaching for me, and I can see him reaching for me. He wants to pull me out, but I'm just too far away. Maybe, one day, I'll find myself closer to him so he can pull me out, but right now, it's useless. I feel myself standing up, relying heavily on Calum's grip to keep me up.