Skips A Beat ::Wattys2016::

Chapter 29

I've decided to go back to school. Not really because I want to, but because Calum made an excellent point. If I want to continue being miserable, then school will help with that. I don't quiff my hair, and I don't put on my skinny jeans. I stay in my sweatpants. Calum picks me up so that I don't have to drive. We don't talk.

Homeroom. When I open our locker, I don't even see it. Not at first. I just grab my books like it's not there, until my hand brushes against it. It's his jacket. He still has his hoodie here. I freeze, before pulling it out. I hold it close to my chest, never wanting to let it go. It still smells like him. The smell that's been fading.

People stay quiet as I pass them in the hallway with Michael's hoodie on. I wonder if they know that I'm wearing his clothes. It's like I'm the Plague and everyone is avoiding me.

First Period. The teacher says that we should partner up for this math review. I instantly turn around. Michael and I always partner up. I open my mouth to call for him, but my eyes lock with his empty seat. Right.

When asked to join a group of three, I say that I already have my partner. The teacher stares at me for a while, but eventually nods and leaves me alone.

Second Period. I can hear this girl whispering behind me. I try to ignore it, but it's hard.

"It's like he hasn't even attempted to take care of himself since Michael died. Look at him. He used to be cute, now he's just, gross. Look. Is he wearing Michael's jacket? God, how weird."

That answers my earlier question.

Third Period. I have a mental breakdown. I'm used to seeing Michael's chair empty. It's not that abnormal. But I know that it's different this time. His chair isn't empty because he doesn't feel good today, or because he has a doctor's appointment. He's not here because he's dead. I'm not okay with that. I'm not ready for him to die, yet.

I sit at my desk, curling in on myself. I feel like such shit without him. I feel sick, and tired, and stressed. I don't like this. I will never like this. The teacher asks if I'm okay, and I, naturally, say that yes, I am okay. I'll be fine. Maybe. One day. I know that she doesn't actually believe me, but whatever. I stare at my desk, the numb feeling coming back. I wonder if I could slip away without actually killing myself?

you really need to get a hold of yourself

"What?" I turn. Michael sits beside me. He looks different. Something isn't right, but I can't tell what. His hair is weird. Is that it? It's not fixed. It's messy, like when he wakes up. He never goes out in public like that.

pay attention to the teacher, he hisses. I must have been staring at him for quite a while.

"Luke, are you sure you're feeling alright?" She asks. I bite my lip, shaking my head. The class looks at me, the air full of judgement and tension. They don't understand how broken I am. How much this hurts.

dont start crying

I bite down on my lip harder, trying to hold in my tears. The teacher excuses me, and I leave, not bothering to grab my books. I keep walking down the halls, unable to stop myself until hands wrap around my middle.

"Luke, where are you going?" Calum asks me. I look at him, and he instantly sees my tears, pulling me into a hug. Michael stands beside us, not moving. "What's wrong?" He asks.

"I can't do this." I sob. Calum rubs my back. I'm so glad that he lets me cry. I really need him. "I miss him so much."

"It's been almost two months." He says softly. I push him away from me. Why would he say that?