Loud Silence

Chapter 2

I wonder sometimes, whether good guys are still out there or if they're extinct. And it's pretty sad to think that girls have to question whether the intentions behind a boys sweet words are trustworthy or not. Don't get me wrong, I know there has to be some good guys that'll treat a girl how she wants to be treated, maybe what I wonder is if there are any good guys out there for me. But I can't be with one even if I wanted to. They would never know a single thing about me except for how I work. My actions I guess would speak louder than my words. No pun intended. No guy, girl even for that matter, has taken the time to talk to me. To try and know me even if I wouldn't talk.

I'm walking home now. Through the rain. The wonderful rain. I let the hood of my red jacket fall away from my face and let the rain hit my skin. I have long dark brown hair that almost looks black, up in a simple bun, my bangs swooping across my eyes, my grey-blue eyes that nearly match the sky today. A small smile forms on my lips as I enter my house. It's not really home to me anymore. Considering the saying "Home is where the heart is." My heart is never really here anymore. Growing up I knew I had wonderful parents. I knew I had it good the way they were so willing to take care of me, and try and help me even though I didn't need it.

Now not so much, my dad spends all his time and money at a bar while my mom works herself to death trying to keep up with the responsibility of bills and the house. She's almost never around. Home when I'm already sleeping, gone before I ever wake up. I miss them, I often wonder if I'm the source of the problem. But they were always acceptive of me not talking after they did everything they could to make me.

Something happened. I can just feel it. Between them and that's why my father has plummeted to the drunken world of nothingness and my mother has drowned herself in unmeasurable hours of work. When my father is home he's a rather bitter man. He lashes out very easily, saying cold things I know he doesn't mean.

When I get inside he's sitting at the dining room table his shoulders sagging with stress and what seems like the weight of the world. My family tells me I look just like my father, with his curly thin, dark hair, and light eyes. But I have my mothers build. Tall, thin, and somewhat curvy. My father doesn't turn to greet me so I walk over to him and wave, smiling a bit to see if I can put any light into his lifeless eyes . He turns to look me in the eyes and a spark lights in his eyes. Not a good spark though, it's rather angry. He grunts a hello then goes back to staring at the wall as if the wall had all the answers. I guess it'll just be another day of me, homework and a book.

* * * * Several Days Later* * * *

Today isn't going too well. I guess word out about the little incident with Noah. Apparently we made out. Apparently I slapped him. Apparently I'm every bad name a girl can come up with. OH and the best of all? I'm trying to steal Noah away from the girls. Yeah! It's bloody crazy! Some girl came up to me and spit on my shoes (gross) because she thought I was trying to steal Noah from her. I hate to break it to her but she never had him. I'm not even sure that they even talk. I used to be invisible and now because of Noah I'm all of a sudden the schools newest gossip. It makes my skin crawl, I hate drama, I hate attention, I love being to myself. When girls jump up and down and scream and laugh obnoxiously, I get the strong urge to reach out and slap them to shut up but I keep walking because that's the right thing to do. It's not that I look down upon their happiness. Girls are just extremely loud, I love being calm, cool, and collected. It feels better to be laid back.

I have my lunch period now. Even as it gets cooler I still sit outside. By now all the trees have faded into beautiful gold and red leaves. And the sun just peeks out from the clouds shining down so that when I sit in it, it hits my skin directly and I can still feel the warmth. I sit down at the picnic table the school has placed beside a tree and take out an apple and my sandwhich. I don't have a big appetite today, well I never really do.