All the best (kenhina)

Chapter six

Warning: THIS CHAPTER IS FUCKIN LONGGGG!!!!!!!😩 might have to make a part 2

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"I can pay you back, when I get a job, I mean." I whisper to kai when the guy at the store goes into the back to get my new phone.

Kai just rolls his eyes. "Don't worry about it, br---" he stops himself short. "Kenma. Can I call you bro? That's not okay, right? I should find something else."

On the message boards, I found many enjoy people asked their brothers and sisters to call them sib, short for "sibling." I liked the idea myself but had never really played with the notion that someone might actually get to use it for me.

"Sib is good," I say. "Instead of bro or whatever."

"Sib. Got it. Well, Sib, you don't have to worry about paying me back, it's fine."

It feels good to have a phone again, even if I can't help but feel slightly guilty. "Hey. I know what you can do to pay me back." Kai sort of looks at me funny when we get in the car.

Uh-oh

"Just go to one meeting with yamaguchi"

"Yamaguchi?" I ask. I don't remember any yamaguchis.

"Dr. Akira. The psychiatrist I told you about?"

"You can have you phone back." I pull the box out of the bag and hand it back to him.

"Kenma, please." He pulls the car out onto the street. "Just one meeting."

I slouch down in the seat. "Kai---"

"Just one. I really think she could help you."

"Why?"

"Because this hasn't exactly been the easiest time for you, and I think that talking it out with someone could help you." He almost spouts all of this in a single breath. I'd be impressed if I wasn't getting so annoyed. "Just one appointment," he says again. "That's all I'm asking."

"Only one?"

"One, I promise. After that, you can decide if you want to keep seeing her."

"Fine," I say, resisting the urge to unbuckle my seat belt and roll out of the car. At least that'd buy me a few weeks in a hospital without having to meet with a therapist. Though Kai's case would probably get stronger if I did that.

"I'll call her when we get home, okay? Maybe she'll have an opening next week."

"Great"

"I just think it would help, maybe talk out the things that happened at home."

"Yeah" I stare out the window, carefully watching everything we pass by. I want to ask him if he went to some kind of therapy, but in my head that sounds like an insult.

"Did they ever get any better?" Kai asks. And I can feel that knot in my stomach slowly crawling up my throat.

"They didn't really change," I tell him.

"I'm . . . I'm really sorry . . . " Kai stares down at the wheel. "For leaving you like that. I just couldn't stand it anymore, and when I found my chance, I took it."

I glance over at him, the guilt on his face obvious. He left just after graduation. We were supposed to go eat lunch, but Kai never showed. And when we got home, his room was completely empty. Mom and dad both tried to call him, but he wouldn't answer his phone.

It took me almost a week to find the note hidden in our bathroom, the one with the name of his college and his phone number. Telling me to call him if I needed anything. I think it was supposed to be comforting, but really, it just made me mad.