Harana: Camilo x Reader

A/N: I'm tired

I have been getting a lot of negative comments so I'm finally going to put my foot down and address it.

I don't like talking about my mental health but I feel as though it's an unavoidable topic.

My characters are far from perfect, they don't do the most reasonable things and it is meant to be that way. I am here to write about humans, not the idealistic ones where it's clear who's good or bad, but I want to write about the flaws cause the world isn't just black and white.

Each of these characters represent a part of me and I am, by no means, a heaven sent. I make mistakes, I'm sometimes stupid and so on.

Leonora represents my depression. I was diagnosed back in January 2020, almost thought I wouldn't live another day. I was hanging by a thread and I wasn't an angel, I was a bit of a bitchy mess.

Francisco represents both of my parents. Often times, what they say contradicts which depends on how they were feeling. Francisco respects Y/N but keep in mind, the man was carrying almost all of the family's problem. It's only expected that he would get frustrated; he also lost his son and now he's losing his wife. What matters is that he realized where he went wrong and now he's trying to make up for it.

Y/N is also not perfect. She got the most toxic trait I have which is my avoidance coping mechanism. Keep in mind that the whole friction between her and her dad is both on two sides. Also her being insecure about her looks is something I heavily struggle with. The amount of times I cried when I hate what I see in the mirror is too much to count. It's also hard to seek help, you want to open up to people but the next thing you know, you're telling them to leave you alone.

Now lastly, Lucia who represents my journey to asexuality (but in his case, he's aromantic). I mentioned this in the comments— it was hard to distinguish what love you are receiving and experiencing. There's a blurred line between platonic and romance. So before I realized that I'm ace, I made the dirtiest jokes to fit in. And even when I did enter the ace community, I was still taken advantage of. Borderline groomed, kept on being pried about my "kinks" and also was convinced that as a minor, I could consent. I wanted to write about this and Lucia was the product. The "friends" in his life also used him for his looks or his body so he grew up thinking that this is just normal despite the fact that he never enjoys it.

I'm writing this a/n because quite frankly, I read all comments as much as I could and everyday, I would come across something that is unnecessarily negative. I find it hard to continue writing and since I really want to finish this book, I have to address it.

I also fear for those readers who relate to these characters only to see comments shitting on a very much real problem.

My writing is not the greatest and I'm actively trying to improve. Just remember that hateful comments doesn't really help anyone.