Are we too young for this?

-t-h-r-e-e-

"Honey, you know u don't have to go to school yet. You just got back, if you need more time to settle you can just start school again next week." my mom says sitting across from me at the table.

I swallow my bite of cereal before responding, "no, I need to go back. I just want to get back into a normal schedule" my mom gives me a worried look "ill be fine mom. Dont worry."

I finish eating before grabbing my backpack and head to the car where my dad is already waiting. My mom pulls me into a tight hug before getting into the car. I give her a smile as my dad pulls out of the driveway.

I wonder if Grayson will be back at school today.

I look out the window watching the trees that line the sidewalk of my neighborhood as we drive. I pull my legs up onto the seat bringing my knees to my chest.

I put in my airpods pulling up spotify and putting on two seasons by slow hollow. There is something about this song that is so calming to me.

We pull up to the school and i pull out one of my airpods to say goodbye to my dad before getting out of the car and start walking to the entrance of my school.

I start toward the door but am stopped. My stomach slowly sinking deep. I see grayson just ahead of me walking into the building but hes not alone. In his hand is the hand of this blonde girl who I recognize as one of the girls in the grade above me.

Why is that bitch holding his hand?

I know that im the one that broke up with him but seeing him with her hurts. Im taken away from my thoughts as Drew creeps up behind me and wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Matt, whats wrong bro?"

"who is she?" I reply, my eyes starting to fill with tears.

"Who is who?" Drew replies seemingly cluless.

"I just saw Gray walking with some girl on his arm. Who is she?"

"fuck. Bro I wanted to tell you I just didnt know how"

"you shouldve!" I yell in response.

"Matt im so sorry."

"know what nevermind, I dont blame you. I shouldve expected this. Walk me to class?" i say back wipping the tears from my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater. Drew nods walking into the building with me.

What did I expect? Honestly? That he would wait around for me even though I broke up with him. I still love him but there is nothing I can do now. I just need to make it through today but fuck, being high sounds so good right now.

First class is English and I'm lucky enough that Drew is in the same class as me. Everyone scurries into the class as the first bell rings. Me and drew make our way to the back left corner of the class finding sitting at desks that are right beside each other.

I have always been very good at English so I was actually kind of excited for this class. Just as I thought my day couldn't get any worse my eyes are brought to the front of the room as Grayson and the little follower he obtained trample into the classroom.

Jesus christ, fuck me.

They find two empty desks a row in front of me and Drew. I watch as the girl places a wet kiss on Graysons cheek before taking her seat.

You know when you get the feeling someone is looking at you and you usually are right, some kind of wild human instinct? Grayson must have got that feeling because his head turns around making his eyes meet mine. I froze not knowing what to do as I stare into the eyes that used to look at me with love now look so distant.

Im suddenly aware that im staring and quickly shift my head away no longer looking in his direction. I wait a second before looking back to see if he was still staring but my eyes are met with the back of his head as he talks to the girl sitting beside him.

Today is a long day.

The whole class I've been having a hard time concentrating because I've been too busy watching the two lovebirds in front of me. I already hate her even if I don't have the right to, I hate her.

I'm snapped away from my thoughts as drew leans over to whisper In my ear.

"So it's been going around that Brent David is having a back to school party tonight. You game?"

I turn my attention to drew because maybe this will help to distract me. "Um maybe. Is that a good idea? And I don't even know if my parents will let me"

"Oh shit ur right. If you don't think you'd be able to handle it don't worry about it but if there is a chance, I would love my best party mate to be with me" he smiles and of course I can't say no to my best friend and plus he would be with me the whole night and I trust him. I just hope I can trust myself too. I tell him that I'll think about it and ask and turn my attention back to them.

The rest of the school day went by pretty fast and I didn't have to see Grayson all that much that whole day.

I have been thinking about the party and I kind of want to go. At least to prove to myself that I am doing better. Maybe if I go to the party and not feel the need to participate in the drinking or the drugs I can show myself that I am better and that I can be sober and still have fun. It could be good for me. I just have to try and convince my parents.