Are we too young for this?

-f-i-v-e-

I make my way back inside looking around to see if I can find a bathroom. I walk through the kitchen to a small hallway off of it where I find the bathroom with a girl hovering over the toilet throwing up.

I decide to go up the stairs to the left of the bathroom to find another one.

I make my way up the stairs to a long hallway lined with closed doors. I start opening doors to try and find the bathroom. All of the ones I opened so far were just empty bedrooms. I walk to the next door placing my hand of the handle and open the door.

I peer in finding yet another bedroom except this one was not empty.

On the bed laid grayson completely naked with the same blonde bitch straddling him.

The girl quickly turns her head and yells, "what the fuck!"

I stare making eye contact with Grayson just Like I had in English this morning.

"Mateo?" as soon as he says my name my heart drops.

"Im sorry. Im so sorry" I stutter quickly shutting the door and start to run down the hall back to the stairs. My breathing starts to speed up as I feel an anxiety attack coming on. I feel like just falling to the ground, its getting hard to breathe but I keep rushing down the stairs.

Fuck fuck fuck.

As i make it to the bottom if the stairs I run my hands through my hair.

I tell myslef dont do it knowing very well im not going to listen to myself.

I shove past the crowds of people standing arounf making my way back to the living room.

I walk over to the couch where the three people smoking weed were still sitting ripping hit after hit from the bong.

"hey," I start "can I hit that?" I ask the girl holding the bong. She nods and hands it over to me and I light up, taking a big hit. I feel as the smoke enters my lungs making me feel euphoric. I hold for a couple seconds before slowly exhaling.

This feels amazing.

I take a few more hits before handing it back to the girl and walking off.

The high hits me hard seeing as I havennt gotten high in months. I stumble through the house as everything seems to slow down. I feel so light.

I practically float out of the house and into the front yard. I find myself in a part of the yard where there were no people at before plopping down into the grass. I lay down looking up at the sky. I run my fingers through the grass letting the hightened sensation of touch take over.

I take a deep breath as I stare up at the sky which looks like its spinning. I laugh.

"what the fuck are you doing?" I hear a voice say above my head. I tilt my head backward looking up at the figure standing behind me.

"Gray? Why are you standing on the sky?" the thought makes me laugh.

"Are you high? Are you fucking serious?"

"Oh calm down buzzkill, it's just weed" I say in responde rolling my eyes. Why does he care so much? If I were him, I wouldn't.

"That's it. Get up now."

"Don't you have some blonde bimbo to be screwing right now! Just let it be!" I say standing up, tired of this motherfucker ruining my high.

"Know what Mateo fuck you! You don't get to be mad at me! You broke up with me, remember? I can screw whoever the fuck I want now! Now stop being a dick and let me take you home! Fuck!"

His words hurt, they are the truth but it hurt. I just nod in defeat and follow him as he leads me to his car. He opens the passenger door for me and tells me to get in, which I do. I watch as he circles around getting into the driver seat.

I just stare. At him. At his beauty. At his perfectly sculpted face like one of those Greek statues. He's gorgeous.

He starts the car and pulls out of the driveway. And I can't stop staring. His hand grips at the wheel so tight his knuckles turn white.

He's pissed.

I don't know when it started to rain but it was pouring. The street lights reflecting off of the rain drops takes my attention away from Grayson but it's immediately brought back to him as he begins to speak, "Teo, you just got back from rehab. What were you thinking?" His voice seems soft letting me know he cares. But why?

"I don't know gray. You think I wanted to? You don't know how hard it is. And seeing you- seeing you with her hurt and I needed an escape. I'm not proud of myself. I hate myself. I hate who I am. I hate that I broke up with you, which just hurt me more. I hate that I let you take the fall for me. I hate that I had to go to rehab and didn't get to see Drew. I hate that my parents had to find me unresponsive on the floor of my bedroom. I hate being an addict and I hate drugs. I really thought I had a chance at staying sober but I guess I was just lying to myself because the fact that I relapsed over something so stupid I- I never had a chance." the words vommited out of my mouth

I turn my head to finally face Grayson, only hes not looking at me and he doesnt say a word. It makes me anxious. I watch as he slows and pulls off to the side of the road, putting the car into park.

He just stares down not meeting my gaze. When he finally faces me our eyes meeting and hes just giving me an expressionless look that I can't read.