Ambivalence || JJK ✓

Chapter 3

"I am trying to cope up with something I never want to forget."

Her mind contemplated over the words of her best friend. Slowly and gradually, she was going insane.

She sat down at the edge of her small bed, eyes shut out of exhaustion. Her fingers gripped her head as she sat there in silence for a few minutes.

She bit her inner cheek harshly, jolted open her eyes and scoffed. A sudden turmoil of emotions hit her as she threw away the pillows on the floor and messed up her brown hair. Her hazel blue eyes gawked at the picture on the wall.

It was picture of him, looking at her, with his wide smile. His smile was her most favorite thing.

She knew herself that she can't run from her problems forever but her heart didn't want to accept any truth. She knew it will hurt her to the core, burning her to ashes. She wasn't ready to forgive herself after knowing it.

I can't seem to settle down. I am still waiting for you.

~

Her feet halted before the mirror, causing her to glance at her reflection.

Her pink bathrobe, wet hair, milky white flawless skin, cherry pink lips, bambi eyes. She looked ethereal but her inner self was rotting in regrets. Her fingers were long and slender. They looked beautiful but when they were holding the ring of his name, they looked beyond beautiful.

She stared at the empty finger with so many emotions in her eyes, "Will I be able to make it till the end?"

Settling herself on the soft mattress, she quaffed in a big sip of alcohol. Her nose scrunched and eyes shut at the bitter taste. Intoxication was her only soulmate at this moment.

Her eyes wandered at the screen of her laptop once she opened it. The corner of the lips curved into a small smile and the eyes lit up with joy once she found the old pictures of her happy days.

Rummaging through all the pictures, her heart swelled with pain. He had always been a handsome young guy she had never dreamed to meet. And when she did, she couldn't resist. It was her fault she knew, still she wanted to push some weight of her guilt towards him. She was too fragile to bare it on her own.

"Wasn't I e-enough Jungkook?"

~

Her eyes drooped with fear once she saw her best friend waiting at the table. She knew she would be out of words once he will ask her the same question. Dragging her feet to the table, she dropped down on the chair next to him. He placed his hand across her shoulder, and she flinched for a micro second, "What have you thought about it?"

Her heart sank in horror.

"I-I don't know", she stuttered, catching him off guard. His brows twitched in confusion and annoyance. Slightly pushing her, he faced her, but the eyes softened once he looked in her eyes.

She was so lost.

"You need him Y/N. Stop punishing yourself. You are dying without him."

JUNGKOOK'S POV

His brows congurrated, a wave of mixed emotions gushing down his cold blood. Happy yet disappointed at the same time. He yearned for her warmth but she was the devil of his happy life.

"Hello?", she spoke, making him lose his sanity. He inhaled a piercing breath, his veins popped out.

"Is this Jungkook?", she uttered again. But she didn't know what impact her words were having on his poor heart.