Ambivalence || JJK ✓

Monologue: Yoon Jeonghan

"I realized that I was always a winner."

I am a married man now. My finger holds the ring it deserves. Here I stand holding the waist of the girl not whom I once loved as mine, but the girl who loves me as his. 

It's hard to let go but I am ready because its for my good, its for my own peace.

I was never an everlasting character in your story but at least I had a role. 

It's your love, it's your promise and so you should be the one to make things right. 

Loving you wasn't a losing game, I won in the end. 

I stand here on the stage as a witness to that pretty smile on your face and you know what? I could never make you this happy. I was never capable of doing that.

It's not the same between us anymore. It should never be the same because I know I deserve better, I deserve more. I never wanted to be a replacement. 

Love isn't a bed of roses after all, I am happy I could see how hard it is to love someone, I could see how hard it is forgive and to be forgiven. Love is an epitome of beauty and the harsh reality of solitude. 

Thank you for coming into my life. Thank you for making me feel like heaven. Thank you for letting me love you. Thank you for making me a second lead in your story.

I am not jealous of Jungkook, I just envy him for getting to know you first. 

I was a little late, but I will never leave you, I promise. 

We couldn't be what I wanted us to be, but you'll always be the one who ruled my heart, who made me realize that I can love too.

You'll always be the queen of my tale. 

You are special, you are different, you are far yet so close. 

I hate Jungkook for what he did but I am happy, he is the one to fix you.

You were my moon in my lonely times and my constellation in celebrations. In fact, loving you was a celebration. 

You encouraged me to live more, to explore myself more, to be strong more, to love myself more and to be myself more. 

I lied to you when I returned you back to your man. I was selfish. Selfish for love, selfish for happiness, selfish for dreams and selfish to make you mine but the day I saw the love your eyes hold for him... I gave up. 

The ocean of love in your eyes drowned my tiny utopia of greed. 

It was after all just a speck of dust.

I am proud to let you go, I am a true man. It was so hard to live without you because loving you had become my habit, I was so used to wiping those tears of yours, pulling you in my embrace, caressing you to sleep. 

I was so used to being your comfort place. 

But then I realized how foolish I was to let your absence affect me, I should have prioritized myself more because even before you I was living, and I still can. So, I tried, and I learned.

Everything was going well until I met her.. Oh Haeri, my soulmate. 

She made me complete again. Her smile made me fall in love for someone so deep that I wasn't ready to get up. She made me love someone more sincerely. She made me realize that she was my comfort place.

I was there when you were at your lowest point, and she was there when I was at my lowest point so how could I not love her more?

Thanks to you, I met an angel.

I won't say I am not sad anymore, but I don't feel lonely anymore. I have got a reason to be happy. She made it all possible. I am lucky that you accepted me not as a medium to move on but as a whole new phase of life. 

Today I declare us as a closed chapter. Let us turn the page to a new start. Let us love someone who is the most deserving, who is the truth, who is the reality. 

I love you still as my girl but now I know how to love someone else more than you, as my woman. 

Goodbye to you, to your memories, to your tears, to our proximity. 

Let's end this here and write something new and worthy.

THE END