Ambivalence || JJK ✓

Chapter 32

"You know nothing about the pain I am going through."

She stood up from her place, seizing the helm of her dress so tightly that her knuckles turned pale. Her eyes continued to leer the figure standing in front of her. Never had she imagined to see him again. Not when she was trying to fix this mess. Her breath hitched, the voice in her throat vanished. A fear started to arise in every single neuron.

"Hey Y/N", he tossed a small smile, more precise to be a smirk. But she stood there like a mannequin, the brain wasn't functioning enough to process anything.

"Are you still angry with me?"

Silence. She went muke once again.

"Can-Can we talk?"

She clinched the purse tightly. Her soul had frozen already. She stepped back as he walked closer. The heels clicked on the pavement as she turned to leave the place but he instantaneously coiled his hands around her wrist, wrapping like a snake and pulled her back. She gasped hard as her back hit the chest of the buff man.

His lips twitched in an evil smirk of victory, seeing her so small, struggling to free herself. He trailed his fingers down her jawline, tucking her falling hair behind the ear, "W-What do you want Minsuk? L-Leave me."

"I just want to talk", he bit his lips, turning her around by the upper arm and gaped in her dark orbs. She frowned in wrath, trying to free herself. Disgust traversed down her body looking at him licking his lips, "And I don't want to!"

She used her free hand, pushing his chest heftily. He squeezed her arm, gritting his teeth and clenching his jaws. Painful. That's what her eyes wanted to scream but only a whimper escaped her mouth.

"L-Leave me, it's already o-over Minsuk."

She could feel her strength shattering into pieces. The blood in her veins had already started to freeze. Her eyes teared up. Her soul was yearning for Jungkook. Meanwhile Minsuk looked unbothered. He sighed copiously, pulling her close, holding her by her shoulders, "Please give me a second chance. I promise I will never treat you like that asshole Jungk-"

*SLAP*

"HOW DARE YOU SAY ANYTHING TO HIM MOTHERFUCKER?!"

Her voice echoed in the silence. Her rage was dancing over the head. She clamped her jaws, tightened the fists and stared at him with dangerous glares. Her nostrils flared as she held him by his collar.

He smirked and started to laugh cockily. She squirmed, gulping down the huge lump and licked her chapped lips in fear. He walked closer to her like a maniac, gripped a fistful of her hair and spat, "Do you even know whom are you fighting with? HOW DARE YOU FIGHT FOR HIM?!"

Tears slipped her eyes as her lips quivered in pain, "Shin Y/N you still think he loves you? A guy who got nothing but pain from you!" She shook her head crying bitterly, "M-Minsuk please."

He pushed her away, his eyes were glistening with tears, "W-Why? Why did you make me hate myself? WHY DO YOU NOT LOVE ME ANYMORE?!"

"HE HATES YOU! HE WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU-"

"NO! NO! NO! You don't know anything. S-Stay away from my life. It's our personal matter-"

"Personal? You still think it's personal when the world knows how much of a wretch you made that poor man?!"

"I SAID STOP! WHO GAVE YOU THE RIGHT TO TALK LIKE THAT?!", she snapped back, jerking off her hands and pushed him as he stumbled.

"You sweetheart. It's you who gave everybody the right to talk like that. To think of him as the wrong one." He crept towards her like a psychopath.

"Y-You are nothing to me", she stuttered as more tears fell.

"What did you just say?", he quirked a brow, rolled over his sleeves and swept away his bangs.

"Y-You are no one-"

"I AM YOUR FUCKING EX BOYFRIEND. A BOYFRIEND WHO NEVER KNEW HIS GIRLFRIEND IS A FUCKING PROSTITUTE! ", he yelled, throwing his hands in anger. He pulled her hand and gripped her jaws tightly.

"LEAVE ME. I SAID LEAVE ME MINSUK!", she yanked his hand away and stood at a safe distance. "Yes you are my ex, my past. You are no one to me now. WHY ARE YOU AFTER ME?! WHY DO YOU EVEN WANT TO TALK TO A PROSTITUTE?!"

"You are calling me your past but don't forget that he is your past too! I love you Y/N... I promise I will never treat you like he does... I love you so freaking much, trust me."

"My trust in you has already died and for your kind information you are no one to question his ways of treating me. Whatever it is it is still better than a dickhead like you. I am-"

He tugged her closer, his height towered over her tiny body. Without giving her any time to commiserate with the surroundings he smashed his lips against hers, pressing her body tightly. She cried miserably with muffled sounds, trying to push him away but he was a giant with immense strength. She dug her nails in his back tearing his shirt.

"Kiss me back Y/N. It's my order", he muffled in between the kiss, tightening the hold over her waist.

Meanwhile Jungkook returned back to the spot where he had left her with her favorite flavour. His eyes grew wide in fear not finding her there. Searching and yelling her name, worried and scared, his eyes landed on a similar figure nearby.

The pupils dilated on recognizing her being forced by a man.

He rans with hurried steps and reaching near her gave a hard punch on the face of Minsuk making him stumble and he fell on the ground with a thud.

Pulling her behind him he growled at the lying figure, "HOW DARE YOU TOUCH HER?!"

He kicked him in the stomach and hovered over him ready to throw another punch. Minsuk dodged the hit and lunged. He got a good hold on Jungkook and shoved him against the wall, dragging him up until his feet dangled a few inches off the ground.

Jungkook shook his head in anger. He was breathing hard, but goddamn it, he didn't even look like he was in pain. He threw his head back, then slammed his forehead into Minsuk's nose. His grip over him lost as he fell on the ground. It took Jungkook a few second to recover as his eyes landed on a wooden stick lying nearby.

He ran to catch it and hit Minsuk on his back.

Minsuk closed his eyes due to the immense pain but pulled Jungkook to his feet, almost tearing the collar... He heard the slight rasp of material ripping. "Yes I did. I will touch her in whatever manner I want! I can do whatever I want with her. Why do you care? WHY DO YOU CARE WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE HER NOW?! WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN FORGIVE HER?!"

He stumbled on his steps, hissing in pain, both from the wounds and his words. He was right. Why did he care? He was right, he don't love her. He can never bring himself to love her the same.

Minsuk smirked. He had hit the right spot. "Look at yourself Jeon Jungkook. How pathetic she made you. HOW MUCH OF A LOSER-"

He cut him off, kicking his ball as he fell down groaning in pain. He started kicking him like a crazy, as he coughed blood. She ran towards him ,pulled him by his arms and dragged him to another place.

"STOP IT JUNGKOOK!", she bellowed, shaking him by his shoulders. His eyes were shining brightly with tears piercing them.

"WHY? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?", she yelled again, breaking in pieces.

"I-I don't know", he whispered, but she heard it.

"Y-You don't know?", she followed his words as her own tears started to fall.

"I... I am sorry-"

"What am I to you Jeon Jungkook?", she questioned cutting him off, with hitched breaths.

He stood silent as she scoffed. More tears prickled down as she stepped back, " I asked you something? What am I to y-you Jungkook?"

"D-Do you love me Jungkook?"

He stood there like a fool, head hanging down in shame, he had no answers to her questions.

Her heart clenched as the tears poodled in the eyes. The world felt spinning as she found it difficult to breath. The silence left her stunned. It broke her into millions of pieces. She stumbled back still staring at his face.

It was all a lie.

A tear broke her eye, followed by uncountable more tears. It was painful to look at her like that. She clutched the cloth over her chest seeing him still standing like that. She waited for him to speak even when she knew the answer well. She turned around and walked closer to the white walls. More tears escaped her eyes followed by her fist meeting the wall.

He jolted up his head and ran towards her in a speed of light, "STOP Y/N! YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF-"

She pushed him by her elbow, gritted her teeth and slapped him so hard that the corner of his lip bled.

"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH ME!" Rage flowed through her like lava.

"What about you? Aren't you hurting me? And you know it well but still are keeping up with the act. You know what? I can never fix myself. Thanks to you", he shook his head in denial, letting out the silent tears. He stepped closer to her, with pressed lips but she showed him her palm.

"When you don't know who I am to y-you then better stay away. I hurt you, you hurt me. We were equal then WHY PUTTING UP THIS ACT OF GIVING ME FALSE HOPES?! WHY ALL THIS FAKE LOVE?!

This means that kiss was a lie too?! Wasn't it?

Bravo, you fooled me so w-well Jeon!

The kiss. The hugs. The dress. The date.

Now I understand. Why can we never be t-together!", she broke down, falling on her knees.

"Y-Y/N, please. Y-You are hurting me", he whimpered, gripping his pants tightly.

She rose her head up with furious eyes, boring daggers in his soul, "AGAIN?! AGAIN IT'S ME HURTING YOU?! THE FUCK?! IT'S YOU WHO IS HURTING ME GODDAMN IT!"

She stood up on her feet and crawled towards him, "Ain't I a fool? I couldn't even figure out your acting. I was s-so much in l-love. How could I let you toy with my emotions? WHY AM I SUCH A GOD DAMN ASS?!"

Silence floated in the air as the two of them stood there with closed mouths, letting out muffled sobs. There eyes stared at the dusted ground, while the heart was beating like a corpse. It was night already.

"Goodbye Jungkook", he faced her with red, puffy eyes, as if they'll bleed in no time. He brows corrugated as he saw her lifting up her bag from the ground and fixing her dress, " I don't want to keep up with this shit anymore. Let's forget that we ever loved each other... forget that I ever existed. Never show me your face again. Just think that I have already died. Just think that there was never an us."

The blood pounded in his ears. His heart thudded in his chest. His hands shook. His feet tingled. His vision disfigured, as if he was looking through a fish-eye lens. " Y-You are l-lying right?", he whispered. A look of puzzlement crossed his face. He licked his lips as a gush of wind hit his swelled and bruised face, partially drying his wet cheeks.

She poked her inner cheek, combed her hair and turned around, ready to run away, "I am not. This time I can't throw away my self respect for a man like you. A fucking liar." And that was the last thing she spoke to him before dashing out.

Where was she going she herself didn't know. The legs moved involuntarily. The mind was a mess, the path seemed endless. The sky darkened as it started to pour soon but with out caring about anything she kept on running, trying to cross every hurdle, trying to find peace, a place where she could acknowledge herself.

The soul felt numb, the legs felt weak but she didn't want to stop. The breathing turned uneven as she could feel her eyes starting to hurt, "Why? Why me? What wrong have I done to suffer so much?"

Yelling and crying at the road she continued to run away from everything. The eyes finally closed and suddenly the world went black for her. She collapsed on the road in front of the car coming through her way.

"Oh my god!", the man came out of his car in a state of utter confusion and panic.