Ambivalence || JJK ✓

Chapter 12

"Everything was a delusion, I was breathing a mirage."

"Sorry", the man kick started, breaking the silence, trying to be obvious with his words.

"Sir, you are scaring me, what's wrong?"

"We-We need to fire you."

Silent. The whole room went dead silent, her fast heartbeats were audible.

"W-Why?", the lump felt hard to be swallowed down. She whimpered, leaning closer to him. He could see the distress he had caused to her. He removed the tray, passing the water to her but she rejected. Her fingers trembled as she held the glass table, "W-Why Namjoon?"

"I can't afford to lose the deal with Yoongi. He is my friend." His words were simple, baseless and biased. Her Adrenaline gushed in, she clenched her jaw and slammed her hands on the table, "I am your friend too Namjoon!" She screamed in fear and anger but he only sighed. "You are not my friend. You can never be. It's Hoseok. I gave you the job just for him. Yoongi is my friend too and I can't lose my friendship with him just for someone low like you. He is more important to me. Get this shit inside your damn head."

"Are you being biased?!" And that was the end of his patience.

"LOWER YOUR DAMN VOICE IN FRONT OF ME, I AM STILL YOUR BOSS! Yes I am being biased, so what? Yoongi is my best friend whereas you... you are nothing to me. It was out of pity that I signed up an uneducated ass like you. Hoseok is my friend. I listened to him and accepted you and now Yoongi is my friend, I am listening to him and firing you. What should I do? Continue pitying you and let the world see my downfall? Will you be able to cover up the loss of my company and my best friend? I have already lost a chance to collaborate with his new brand and now I don't want to lose anything else."

"N-Namjoon p-please don't do this to me, I'll be wrecked."

"I can't do anything Y/N. I am really sorry but I can't be enemies with the ones who almost own the market rather I can consider other reasons too. You aren't educated. You are never punctual. You never got us any investors. You are the ex-wife of Jungkook."

"How can you include J-Jungkook here?"

"Well, you know it all Y/N. Yoongi has clearly stated that he won't invest in my company until you are working here and for me work is priority not emotions, so please sign this resignation letter." And again she lost. Her fate was mocking at her in a way she had never thought of. She nodded, taking the white envelope from his hands and licked her chapped lips. Fetching the pen from the table she inhaled deeply before signing it. "It was nice working with you Namjoon."

Her eyes had the tears as she picked up her stuffs from the table. She wasn't strong. Never. But the circumstances pushed her towards being stronger than she was capable of. She flinched feeling a warm hold on her hands, "W-Where are you going? I'll talk-"

"No. Don't do it Hoseok. I am okay. Even if I am not, I'll be okay." His heart shattered seeing his best friend collapsing in the pit of darkness. He felt sorry for her but he was helpless. "I'll be there at 6 in the evening." And she walked away. Leaving him with a guilt even if it wasn't his fault.

~

Her head spun as she searched for the keys to her apartment in her black leather purse. For a second she lost her balance and held onto the wall.

She sighed for the nth time in the day, cracked her neck and limbs and crawled towards the leaking water tap in the kitchen. The moment she looked at it, she knew it needed a plumber. Bending down, she pulled out a dusted directory from the wooden shelves under the basin.

She shoved the bucks in the hands of the plumber and shut the door close. The clock ticked, loud enough, catching her attention, "It's 4:30 already? Let's get ready."

Slipping a yellow floral dress on her body, she stepped closer to the dressing table. Her tired eyes eyed the makeup plated by the corner and she felt the urge to skip it. "What's the use? I look fine." She rebuffed the wrinkles and stuffed her feet in her favorite white sneakers. The room darkened as she switched off the lights and left her house, pulling a brown purse over her shoulder.

Her legs swung, as she sat back at the bus stop, staring at the yellow leaves on the ground. She smiled lightly, reminiscing the memories with her brother. "Yunhyung are you happy up there?" She didn't cry but her throat had dried up. She had been losing a lot for the past few years.

"Will you buy it?", she snapped back to reality. A kid in blue shirt approached her. Her heart squealed at his cuteness, "Sure". She smiled cheekily, her eyes disappearing. "You are so hard working", she cooed, patting his head. He passed to her his beautiful gummy smile and pecked her cheeks, "You are so beautiful noona."

She got down her ride, jogging towards the cafe. The bells at the door jingled as the girl at the counter welcomed her with a smile. She settled at a table near the glass window and huffed a short breath. She was early. Why? Because she wanted to spend some time with herself.

The cherry blossom tree, visible from the window, looked beautiful. Just like her past. Her eyes beamed joy and pain as the memories cascaded down the lane: The first date. The wedding. The first kiss. The first fight. The first rain. The first time becoming two bodies one soul.

She cried internally while her outside looked calm.

How fast time flies. Happiness in no time can change into sadness. Beauty in no time can fade away. Hearts in no time can break. Trust in no time can finish and love in no time can change into hatred.

Who are you? You are not the boy I fell in love with.

She smirked. Her hands could wipe her physical sufferings but what about her inner self? How is she gonna forgive her soul? She dug out the mirror from her purse and sighed in satisfaction, her eyes weren't puffy. Keeping her belongings at the corner, she laid down her head and closed her eyes.

"Hey", she opened her eyes, flustered, with a small pout. "Hey Hoseok", she shifted back and passed him a small smile. Placing his phone and wallet on the table, he called out to a waiter. "You bare face?", she could see his eyebrows twitch in confusion. "Why? Do I look ugly?"

He laughed, whole heartily, causing her to smile too. "No. You are pretty both ways."

"... I am sorry for Joon's behavior", he hammered the wall of silence.

"Not his fault. My luck isn't good enough. I appreciate that he prioritizes his work", she wiped the froth from the corner of her lip, taking a sip again. "I don't want to ruin his relationship with Yoongi, just like mine. I respect both of them." He slurped on to his coffee and fixed his shirt, "Shall I help you get another job?"

"No please. Don't worry about it, I can manage."

~

"Hoseok", she looked at him,who was busy playing with his phone and wallet.

"Tell me the truth. Tell me how much damage have I caused."

He looked at her for a while before getting back to his work. He sighed, loosening his tie and unbuttoned the sleeves and rolled them up. "You haven't done any wrong but you didn't do it right too. Stop blaming yourself for everything, sometimes think of it as a misfate too."

He stood up from his seat and threw the cups in the dustbin, returning back with two plates of doughnuts.