Mine

Chapter 21

I wanted to rip his tongue out of his throat. His words echoed in my head again and again and again.

"You're never leaving me."

"No one can love you as much as I do!"

"You are worthless without me baby."

I sat in the bathtub with my knees to my chest staring into nothing. My wet hair clinging onto my naked shoulders and back, it was chilling. It's been feeling like my whole world had been loosing its colors around me and turning gray and depressing.

"Baby girl what's taking you so long in there?!" Xavier banged on the bathroom's door. I can't have even twenty minutes to myself could I?

He had allowed me to shower by myself after raping me again first thing this morning, he didn't listen no matter how I tried to talk to him, he never did. Why do I even try anymore? I slowly brought my head down onto my knees while my arms hugged my shivering legs, I stared at the door then onto the sink where a red scissor laid, I used to cut my own hair with it.

Xavier banged on the door again, "Bella, I'm breaking in if you don't respond to me right now!" He repeatedly banged on the door loudly. I hate that, I hated the sound of loud banging on doors. I don't know why but it triggers me.

"Just give me ten minutes.." My voice was barely above a whisper but I guess he heard it, "Five minutes." He demanded before I hear him walking away. I got out of the bathtub walking to the sink where the scissor was. I stared at it for a good minute, thoughts running through my head.

Should I?

Yes! Stab it right through his heart!

Yes, slit it across your wrist.

No.. I.. I can't! I can't kill anyone, much less myself!

Just do it.

Kill yourself, you're worthless anyway.
You're just a sex slave to him and will forever be.
You'll never get free of him.

NO!

I dropped the red scissor that I had held against my wrist unconsciously. What am I doing?! This is not me, I would NEVER kill myself.

I'm.. I'm fucking loosing it!

"Isabella! Come out of the damn bathroom right now!" The door knob jiggled aggressively while loud bangs echoed through the bathroom again.

I'm gonna loose it.

I quickly put on a towel to cover myself and opened the door to be met with a very irritated Xavier.

"Why the fuck were you in there so long?"

"I'm sorry."

He scoffed, "You're sorry? I always come see you whenever I could between my busy fucking work schedule and you repay me by sitting in that room for almost thirty minutes, doing what?! You know it's difficult for me to be apart from you for even a fucking minute." He seemed like he was trying to control his anger. At least he isn't throwing me across the room, usually I'd be thrown around like a rag doll when he gets mad.

What did he want me to say?

"I'm sorry, please forgive me Xavier." I tried to sound genuine and show him a smile because I wasn't ready for an argument right now. Most of our arguments started like this.

"You were thinking about that high school boy weren't you?" He grabbed and fisted my hair from the back. I wanted to cry, I really can't do this right now.