No longer with you

Without you

I can't help but be jealous.
My new friend makes me happy.
Just not as happy as you once made me.

I'm too embarrassed to go back to you. Eventhough I'd love to.
I hope you're happy with your friend.
You must be.
I still hear her loud and annoying laugh after you make a joke.
And I also see the huge smile on your face afterwards.

I could never be her. Not even close to her actually.
I don't understand,
What did I do wrong?
Why does it seem like you hate me?
Why do you love her?
Why can't you love me instead?
What does she have that I don't?
What do I need to do to replace her?
Why can't we just go back, to when it was just you and me.
Why am I not enough? 
Do you not love me anymore?
Am I nothing to you?

I miss you.
I want you back.
I can't live without you.

Why would I keep going if I can't be with you?
What is my purpose if I'm not with you?
I don't want to keep going anymore.
Why can't I just sleep forever?

My thoughts are killing me.
And you don't even seem to care.
Haven't you noticed how much I've changed?
How I no longer wear a smile on my face 24/7.
How I no longer respond in a happy tone.
How I no longer am happy all the time.

I guess you really don't care anymore.
I wish you the best with her.
I hope you'll find happiness.
I hope you'll have a great rest of your life.

I can't do this anymore.
I give up.