"You're Not Alone"

The Owl Boys

That question. Why'd he have to ask that question? No, I'm not fine. I have depression and anxiety. I'm on medication. I didn't have a childhood, my family was shit. I tried killing myself less than a year ago. I hate being around people, they hate me and make my life hell.

I looked at the boys, making eye contact with Akaashi for a brief second before I felt another panic attack coming. I quickly looked away, staring the ground. "Do I look ok?"
Shit. I was supposed to say "yes."

Akaashi knelt down beside me. "Not really. Anxiety?"

I looked at him and nodded. "More than you know."

He smiled slightly. "Bokuto-san. Don't do or say anything loud or that may cause Y/n any sort of discomfort. She needs quiet so she can relax."

"Ok, Akaashi." His companion sat down, well kinda laid down and diverted his attention from us. "Pretend I'm not here!"

Akaashi rolled his eyes. "Y/n, I don't think I've seen you before. Were you here at this school last year?"

I shook my head. "I transferred... but I don't wanna talk about it." My voice remained quiet. If I speak too loud, who knows what might happen.

Akaashi nodded. "It's ok. You don't need to talk about it."

Ok?! Nothing's ok, not in my life. I don't care even if you are the most attractive person I've seen my whole life, never say "it's ok" in my presence.

I sighed, unconsciously leaning onto the boy. "I wanna go home..."

Akaashi's arms wrapped around me. "Hey, I'm here. Don't worry about anything. If you need me for anything, I'm here."

"Wow Akaashi... you're great in these situations!" Bokuto spoke with a loud voice, making me flinch and cling onto Akaashi.

"Bokuto-san. I said to be quiet. Loud noises aren't helping Y/n at all."

"Oh... sorry..." Bokuto laid back down and remained silent.

Akaashi sighed and put his head on mine. "Sorry about Bokuto-san." He murmured. "He's always loud and energetic."

I nuzzle my head into the crook of his neck. "Ok... hey, Akaashi...?"

"Yes?"

"Why are you doing this?"

"You we're having a panic attack, right? I'm just calming you down so nothing bad can happen."

"That's what I don't understand. Why're you being so nice to me?"

He moved away from me, just barely though. "Why shouldn't I be nice to you?"

"Akaashi's nice to everyone!" Bokuto chimed in again, scooting closer to us.

I moved away from the boys, backing into a corner. "But why me?"

"Why not you?" Bokuto countered.

I froze. 'Why not me? Is he serious?
I thought about it before speaking again. "You two don't know me. I'm brand new here. So why?"

Bokuto shrugged. "Maybe it's cuz you're new. We wanna get to know ya a bit. Make ya comfortable here. Right, Akaashi?"

The calmer boy nodded, humming in agreement.

I was in disbelief. Either these guys are the kindest people to have ever existed (saint/angels/whatever ya wanna imagine), or they're just plain stupid.
"Why waste time on someone like me?"

Maybe I said the wrong thing cuz next thing I knew, a very angry-looking Bokuto was right in my face. "Seriously?! 'Waste our time'?! 'Someone like you'?! Do you think it's a waste of time to make friends?! To wanna help someone that clearly needed it?! And what kind of person even are you?!"

Fear pulsed throughout my body. I couldn't even think... barely even able to process what just happened within a split second. I couldn't control my body. I was violently shaking. Flashbacks of my parents beating me when I was 4 ran through my mind, paralyzing me with fear. Tears ran down my face uncontrollably.
'Is he gonna hurt me too?'

Akaashi pushed his companion away from me, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me into his chest. "Bokuto-san, calm down. You're making this worse right now. Just sit back down."

And the taller boy did just that, still wearing an angry face.
Akaashi turned back to me, face full of concern.

"Y/n, are you ok? What's going on?"

No control. Only fear. My mouth let out what was running in my mind. "Is he gonna hurt me?"

Both boys' eyes widened, completely shocked. At most, they only thought my reaction to Bokuto was that he was only intimidating and I was fragile. But it was so much worse. Just a bit of my trauma had finally reached them- and they understood something had to be seriously wrong. They knew something was wrong, something was seriously wrong.
I had been through something they couldn't even begin to understand. And now they fear what exactly would happen to me if they didn't stay here and protect me.

"N-no! I would never!" Bokuto could barely get his words out, too shocked and worried about how I thought of him.

Akaashi rubbed my back comfortingly. "He wouldn't ever hurt someone, especially not a girl. Why... why would you think that?"

My voice was only loud enough for Akaashi to hear. "Whenever they got mad and yelled, they'd beat me till I couldn't move and fell unconscious."

And that was enough for Akaashi to fear for my life. "Who?"

"Them... they're..."

Bokuto had finally moved closer. "What's going on? Why ya both so quiet?"

The bell rang, signifying break was over.

Bokuto panicked. "Oh shit! I gotta go! I'll see ya at practice, Akaashi!" And he ran off.

Akaashi stood up, pulling me up with him. "Let's get to class. We can talk later... at lunch, ok? Just the two of us so you can finish. Is that ok?"

I looked away from the ground, finally being able to look straight into his deep blue eyes. "Mhm."

And together we walked to class, Akaashi holding my hand. He kept me safe. He distracted me. I didn't notice the countless stares and glares many girls were giving me.
All that I acknowledged was the not helping me. The only person that's ever even tried to help me my whole life.

'What's this feeling in my chest?'