"You're Not Alone"

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I hadn't been sleeping for the past week. Between work, school, and helping out the volleyball in my free time, sleep just stopped being an option. I had also stopped eating for that entire week.

My body was sore, and I could barely move myself. I felt so tired that I ended up falling asleep in class. My declining health hadn't gone completely unnoticed.

Akaashi lightly shook me during lunch. "Y/n? Are you ok?"

I slowly opened my eyes, vision blurry from suddenly waking up. I shook my head, attempting to fall back asleep.

He didn't let me. "You need to eat something, Y/n. I'm worried about your health. You haven't seemed to be doing so well this week. You have really dark circles under your eyes. What's going on?"

I sat up, looking around the room. Once I saw no one else there, I spoke up slightly. "I can't sleep anymore and I haven't been eating...." I stared at the ground, knowing it would upset Akaashi to hear this.

He crouched down, bringing his face closer to mine. "That's not healthy, Y/n."

"I know...." I felt tears in my eyes, my vision starting to go blurry. "I'm sorry...."

He gently cupped my cheek in his hand. "Don't apologize. It's ok. Want me to give you some food?"

I nodded slowly. "Th-thanks, Akaashi."

He smiled softly, his thumb brushing my cheek. "It's nothing. I don't mind helping you, as long as I'm able to. You know you can always tell me anything, right?"

I nodded.

"And you know it's never any trouble to ask me for help, right?"

Again, I nodded, leaning my face further into his hand.

He let out a breathy chuckle. "Let's go?"

I smiled slightly and nodded, allowing him to grab my hand and help me up. He kept my hand in his while we walked to get lunches. People looked at us, causing me to stare at the ground and use my hair to hide my face.

He noticed my reactions and lightly squeezed my hand. "It's ok," Akaashi whispered into my ear.

I leaned against him, whispering back. "I don't like the stares."

"I know. It's fine. Just ignore it. Focus on me, ok?"

I looked up at him and nodded. "Ok, Akaashi."

We walked together while holding hands and got our food, finding a quiet place to eat. It was relaxing, just eating with Akaashi. His presence just made me feel happy and I didn't feel the need to keep my guard up.

'That's a mistake...'

That thought caused me to freeze. I felt my heart rate increase, it was hard to breathe.

'He won't be here forever. He'll leave you just like everyone else. And you'll be useless, worthless. Why should you live? You're only a bother to Akaashi. He's just being nice cuz he pities you, he feels bad cuz you have a shitty life. He's gonna get sick of you soon. He won't want you. He doesn't like you. He's doing this out of pity, to be a good person.'

Tears cascaded down my face as I pushed my food away, curling into a ball. Why did I always let this happen? I'm weak, allowing my fears to control me like this. But... maybe Akaashi will leave me because of this. I cried harder, starting to audibly sob, just thinking about how pathetic I am, how alone I'll be once Akaashi's had enough of my shit.

"Y/n? Are you ok? What's wrong? Y/n?!" A familiar voice called out to me.

I didn't respond, I couldn't. My voice was nonexistent.

I felt large arms wrap around me, a warmth enveloped around me. "It's ok, Y/n. I'm here, please calm down." One of the hands stroked my hair, trying desperately to calm me down. "Please... be alright...."

My chest tightened upon hearing the desperate pleas of Akaashi. I moved slightly, my hands tightly gripping the front of his uniform jacket.

He pulled me onto his lap. "It's ok, it's ok. Nothing can hurt you. I'm here."

"Don't... don't go. Please don't leave me...."

He pulled me closer, his own grip tightening. "I'm not going anywhere. I'll never leave you."

Fucking liar.

"Akaashi.... Akaashi...." I just saying his name over and over. It was a desperate attempt to keep him with me. Even if it was just in this moment, I desperately needed Akaashi Keiji.

I felt something soft against my forehead. What? What was that?

"Don't worry, Y/n. I'm not letting go. I'm here for you as long as you need and want me."

Please... don't say that. Don't become a liar, Keiji. It's not good for my heart...

I let go of his shirt, putting my arms around his neck and pulling myself closer. "Don't go..."

"I'm not. I'm right here." He leaned his head against mine as I put mine on his shoulder. "I'm here for you, Y/n. For all of eternity."

One thing you shouldn't say or do...

Akaashi Keiji, you shouldn't have made these promises. In the end, neither of us could keep them. And we both ended up hurting...

"I love you.... I love you so much, Keiji. Why? Why did you have to leave?! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDNT LEAVE ME!"

"Y/n.... Please calm down...."

"Why did it have to be him? It's should've been me...."