| Ocean Stars | Sequel to Deeper | COMPLETE |

Chapter 8

Rose pressed her palm against the glass of their enclosure, leaving trails of steam behind and drawing circles as time passed on. She would do this continuously, penned inside her mind. She had been trapped on, oh, so many occasions before; Sattelite Five, the morgue in Cardiff, Downing Street, trapped on a multi-dimensional french spaceship, on an impossible planet under a black hole. Hell, she had been imprisoned on a different dimension, not once, but two times already. And yet, every single time she had hoped. Hoped to get out. Hoped to run. Hoped to see another day, to see her mum, Pete, and Tony.

So how come she was feeling despairing? After all that she had been through? Rose sat down, sighing. Leaning her head into her hands, she chuckled. Hopeless, that's what she was. This was the end. Not only hers but theirs as well.

She glanced over at the two Doctors who were arguing and shook her head. 

They had no time to resist. The Istuli had thrown them into a cell made of glass but separated by walls of the same solid material. They could see each other, talk, but not touch. There was a small bed in each one of the stalls and a toilet.

Rose rubbed her eyes, laying down on her back. She brushed off a strand of hair that seemed to annoy her immensely. And then she cried, thinking of Jackie. She wanted her mum more than anything at that moment, because if she were to die here...she didn't even say goodbye. Her parents had no idea of where she was.

The ground shook vigorously, a loud boom in the distance. It's when she came to the conclusion that past-Rose must've escaped, embarked on Valorant, and drove off, which she found hysterical.

What started with a giggle had now turned into a laugh. Back to square one, she thought, her arm over her eyes, tears streaming down her cheeks.

„I shouldn't have brought you here." the Time Lord pressed his forehead against the glass that divided them. „It's my fault. I'm sorry."

But Rose ignored him, turning so that he could only see her back. Then the Doctor did the same from the other side of her cell. No matter where she turned to, there was his face, searching for emotion. She couldn't hide, she was exposed, trapped between the two men she so dearly loved. Rose wanted to disappear for only just a moment, confusion settling in. Who was she anymore, but a ghost of the Doctor's love; the proper Doctor, the Doctor she had met in the basement of Henrik's when all of it was not as puzzling as it were now.

And who were they?

She had made it clear before that the Doctor's differences were the reason she had fallen in love again. But could she have loved this version, if she had not loved the other one? Without that connection? And how different were they anyways? Both had wanted to jump to her rescue as she was drowning and both had made the mistake of deciding on their own. Both had decided to deceive her. The Doctor might have been human and maybe a tad Donna, but deep inside, he was the same man.

So how do you split your love into two? How do you stay true to yourself? How do you live on, knowing it's a lie and that the only reason she had fallen for the Doctor was because of the other?

Rose felt disgusted with herself.

She took the pillow from under her head, pulling it over her face to conceal her shame. All this time, she tried ignoring her feelings and now, there it was. The outburst of uncertainty.

„I'm travelling alone because the pain of losing you made me realise, that no matter how much I try, I can't protect everyone." the Time Lord sat on the floor, his back against the wall. „I'm scared...of losing more, Rose."

How cocky. He did this to himself. He knew how much she'd wanted to go back to him. Back to travelling the stars, to be his hand to hold. And most of all, how disrespectful, to say all this knowing damn well how much she loved the Doctor. What was his point?