Darkened Souls {HAITUS}

5

I could tell that Bale was overworking himself. I was worried from the third day, Boo was worried from the fifth. Now everyone but Bale seemed to be worried and it was the twelfth day. His eyes had started to dim and his arms were weak from all the constant lifting that he was doing. His ears were droopy and he wasn't even taking off his jewellery before going to his three-hour sleep, as evident from the markings that were slowly becoming more and more defined as the days wore on. If he didn't take them off for a good while now, his skin would split and there would be blood staining them.

Boo was overworking himself in a very different manner. He's had so much responsibility piled onto him so suddenly that he almost passed out during family dinner the other day. I'd been stressed about school for the past few weeks, and the rest of the family was out hunting for a few days. All three of us were tired, irritable, and on our last legs with each other. Today's conversation at the dinner table certainly didn't help anything.

"So... Bale,-"

"Don't waste your breath and eat your dinner," Bale snapped. Boo flinched a little, but he played it off. I noticed.

"You made Boo flinch," I muttered.

"What was that?"

"YOU MADE BOO FLINCH!!" I hollered.

I was panting, my blood was boiling, I wanted to hurt Bale for the way that he'd been hurting himself. It didn't make any sense at all. But then again, my magic didn't make any sense. Ever since I'd manifested, especially since my attack almost a year ago that has left scars that will never heal, my magic had been off the hook. Sometimes I would be willing and able to resist attacking people, and sometimes I could attack people without an invitation.

I learned that one when someone tried to hurt Jarous. Not just the normal bullying hurt, but hunter hurt. I might not have had particularly stable magic, but I also didn't tolerate my friends being hurt. In any normal situation, I would have to purposely get in one's way to attack. But this time that wasn't the case. Jarous was maybe 30 metres away from me when the incident happened, and when he yelled out in pain I knew something was up. Then the two came into view and I just snapped. I got my shadow-dagger, which looked like a netherite version of the knife that my own hunter had, elaborate, yet effective.

I ran at that boy with zero hesitation and cut at the soft flesh just above his wrist, then kicked him so hard in the chest that he didn't get up for a bit, then he finally did and he ran off. I stood there seething, then turned to tend to Jarous' wounds.

But that particular interaction also scared me.

I'd attacked without an invitation, and that wasn't supposed to happen; that wasn't how the magic worked. Then there was the time during the attack that I'd resisted the clear invitation, even though I wanted to attack. That wasn't supposed to happen either. It made me feel truly unpredictable and truly dangerous. Not even to mention the mood swings that I now experience regularly.

In short, my magic was out of whack and I had absolutely no way of controlling it, other than to carry out basic tasks such as surviving, which appears to be somewhat important because my magic will almost always choose the better option for me. Everything other than that attack has been to my own benefit so far, and while I'm scary and scared for myself, I can protect myself and my friends if push comes to shove.

So why was I so incredibly mad at Bale that I wanted to slap him upside the head? And why am I managing to hold myself back from attacking? I want to, and I can, so why don't I? I didn't really want to hurt him, nor to spark a fight, despite the utter annoyance that was inside my soul.

"You made Boo flinch, Bale," I growled. "That isn't seen as acceptable by our parents, and it isn't seen as acceptable by me." I spat the word parents, looked up, and looked him in the eyes. I glared. "You made him flinch." As the last word left my mouth, I relaxed and surrendered my anger, my eyes tracing the grains in the wood of the table. I propped my head on my hands with my elbows on the table, covering the upper half of my face.