Darkened Souls {HAITUS}

3

Saying that I was tired would be an understatement. Apparently healing from near-fatal wounds is a very tiring thing to go through. I couldn't focus, I couldn't think, I couldn't even keep my eyes open for five minutes. But my teachers all got mad about the multiple absences that I had racked up, and they wanted me at school today.

I didn't think that I was really ready for that yet. And what would you know? I was right. And all my teachers only got angrier at the fact that I'm not able to recover from nearly dying in the span of a week and a half. With the sheer amount of deep cuts that were stinging all around my body at that moment, I didn't even know if any of them would have even survived in my situation.

It was almost like they genuinely expected me to even be alive. I should have been dead. But I wasn't. By some miracle I wasn't. By that wonderful angel that saved me. Or maybe I was dead and this was all a dream? That wouldn't make any sense, in a dream I wouldn't be feeling this intense pain. Or go to sleep multiple times and wake up to this bad of a day.

My history teacher just asked me a question, I think. Uh-oh. What do I even say to this? I glanced next to me and saw Jarous using his hand signals to tell me what to say to the teacher. I don't even bother to face them while speaking. I knew this was a bad decision the moment that pain starts to shoot up my arm like a missile.

I screeched, the aggravating sound only serving to make the teacher twist my wrist and I kept yelling louder and louder as the pain grew until eventually I stifled the rest with tears pricking at the corners of my eyes and threatening to spill over. After this was done, all eyes were on the teacher and I. They whispered harshly in my ears.

"You are nothing. You are nothing and you always will be nothing." I tuned them out. It wasn't important anyways. "If you wanted to try to be something, then I would recommend that you go ahead and actually focus on the lesson rather than catching up on your sleep during class." I flinched, but only to make sure that they knew that they were 'still in control'. That's something that I learned in school, that those who have social dominance must be shown that you submit, otherwise you will only find pain, suffering, and trouble.

I personally didn't want any of those things, not now and not ever. So I let them take control to an extent. I showed them what they wanted to see and they seemed satisfied that I did so, and it kept working, so I let it happen. Better to feel annoyed and frustrated than be in pain and trouble.

I still thought that it was quite ridiculous that they could punish a kid that did the same thing to me, but that they wouldn't so much as bat an eye when an adult did it. I was five, about to be six in only a few months.

I hated this place, there was no doubt about it. Nothing could make me hate it less, I don't think. But that didn't mean that I never found any ways to get by. Patterns were all that I needed to avoid conflict, and conflict means trouble which means that unless I submit, the kid will lie and say that I attacked them and they wouldn't give a second thought to my track record or anything, I would be the culprit. Because I am an Enderkin and I'm 'highly unstable and dangerous'. Because I can be set off by even the smallest bit of eye contact. Because I am a 'spoiled little princess brat'. Because I am only an anthro.

I just couldn't have that happen, not in a million years. It would ruin everything. I would hate everything, and I don't know what I would do. So I always let them beat me, never using self defence unless I'm about to die. That's only happened once, luckily. And it wasn't at school or anything anyway, so it never mattered to the teachers. It was a hunter. The hunter caught me off guard.

TW: Blood, Graphic Depictions of Violence. Ends at star if you want to skip.

I was simply collecting blackberries with Boo like any other weekend, it was actually quite a calming experience. Humming to myself, I was collecting away, without a care or being too alert. I hadn't even realised that I strode too far until I heard a rustling in some nearby bushes. I stopped, and looked up, ears listening intently for any signs that it wasn't just a forest rabbit or a wild cow or something similar.