The Pediatrician (Fifth Harmony- Dinah/You/Normani)

Chapter 11

*Your POV*

 

I sat in the front lounge of the bus, shaking like a leaf on the couch. I could still hear pounding on the door which I had locked about 10 or 20 minutes ago when the flashbacks started coming back full force.

 

I didn't want to be more a burden than I already was, and I didn't want them to see me like this. My parents were right when they said I was a useless piece of trash. I couldn't save Jen, I couldn't choose between Dinah, Ally and Normani, Hell I couldn't even get through a tour without freaking them out with my nightmares.

 

I was so distracted by my thoughts it took me to realize how hard it was for me to breathe. Oh crap. Not a panic attack. Not now.

 

"H..Help." I managed to squeak out as I tried to get closer to the door, but I collapsed onto the ground unable to breathe.

 

All I heard was a growl of "Get away from the door guys." And then out of the corner of my eye I vaguely saw Dinah kick the door down, and suddenly I found myself cradled in Dinah's arms.

 

"It's okay baby. Just breathe. Copy my breathing." Dinah said in a soft voice, her eyes locked on mine. I suddenly felt safe as she soothingly ran her finger through my hair.

 

Finally my breathing and tears suddenly calmed down, and I just kept looking into Dinah's eyes. I was broken out of my trance when she set me down and muttered "Sorry." Before running out.

 

I felt hurt and desperate as Normani, Camila and Lauren followed her, and I sank down, tears once again falling down my face. Ally sighed and sank down next to me, hugging me.

 

"What did I do wrong??" I cried, wondering why it hurt so much.

 

"You didn't do anything wrong Sweetie, Dinah.. well she's conflicted about some things right now." Ally said softly, soothingly rubbing my back.

 

"But why does it hurt so much??" I cried.

 

Ally froze for a second and asked "Well what do you feel when you're around her?"

 

"I don't know, like I'm safe. I mean I feel safe around all of you, but with her it's different. It's like when I'm with her, everything is okay, and everything makes sense." I said.

 

Ally smiled slightly, but I could see that there was hurt in her eyes. "Well it sounds like you like her." She said.

I sat there confused. How did my feelings make a decision without me knowing. I didn't want to hurt Normani and Ally! I couldn't lose them.

 

"I'm so sorry! Please don't leave me!" I cried, crying once again, jeez I'm an emotional mess today.

 

'SHHH. I promise you, I will never leave you, you can't help how you feel. I'm always going to be here for you." She soothingly rubbed my back.

 

"Will Mani leave me?" I sniffled, knowing from what Lauren said, and how she acted that Normani liked me as well.

 

"Of course not silly! We all love you, and nothing could ever change that!" Ally smiled.

 

I smiled slightly, wiping the remainder of my tears. "Now what do I do? It's like I did something wrong! And what if she hates me?!" I said, hysteria starting to creep into my voice.

 

"Y/N! Don't be silly! She could never hate you, and if she did, I'd give her a beatdown!" I laughed as she punched the air, trying and failing to look intimidating.

 

"Thanks Ally." I smiled slightly as the bus came to a halt.

 

Ally looked at me with a sad smile and asked "Well are you ready?"

 

"No, but I don't think I'll ever be." I admitted, my shoulders slumping at the thought of seeing her name on the stone.

 

"It'll be okay baby, we're all here for you." Ally reassured me.

 

I nodded, and she grabbed my hand as we walked to the front, where Lauren< Camila and Normani were smirking at Dinah, and Dinah gave me a sheepish look before she turned away.

 

"Well Dan picked up some flowers and bears when we stopped earlier, so we're ready when you are." Lauren said kindly.

 

I just nodded, and Camila grabbed my other hand as Normani, Dinah and Lauren all gave me sympathetic looks.

 

I felt tears stream down my face as I looked at Jen's name on the small gravestone, memories came flashing back of her always encouraging me, being the only person to treat me like I was normal, and just being so happy all the time, especially when we'd dance around the room together.

 

My heart sunk when I finally realized that I didn't have a family anymore. I sank down and cried. A pair of arms enveloped me, and I expected it to be Normani, Ally, Camila or Lauren, but it was DInah.

 

"I'm so sorry or how I've been acting, and I promise I'll explain, but not now. This time is all you. You need to get it out love, I'm always here for you, and I always will be." DInah promised as she hugged me tighter, and I hid my face in her neck.

 

"Well I just miss her, and I guess I finally realized that I don't have a family, I guess when you guys were talking about how all your families are coming down soon, it just kind of stayed in the back of my mind." I cried.

 

"Hey, hey, don't cry baby, you're not alone. Starting today, you're a part of my family. I've got plenty to go around." She joked.

 

I giggled through my tears and asked "really?"

 

"Really." She smiled as I yawned.

 

"Go to sleep pretty girl. I'll be right here." She cooed as she picked me up.

As my eyes closed, I couldn't help but feel a sense of peace, safeness and belonging in her arms.