Soukoku One shots ( Mostly In Chuuyas Pov)

did I lose control ?

Bungo stray dogs season 3 spoilers

Pov Chuuya

As I open my eyes I realize something " did I loss control ? " I say the fear evident in my voice. what happen I cant remember? Soon enough I was loss in my thoughts. My thoughts dragging me deep down in to a endless void of my thoughts . Still stuck in my thoughts I feel something touch me. Bringing me out of my thoughts  I look up to see " Dazai " I say looking up at the brunette haired male. He gives me that smile the smile I hate so much. " Aww~ Chibi looks so helpless right now its so cute." he says in teasing tone. Why does he have to be here? Why can't he just leave me alone? " huh what happened " I say trying my best not to get up and start yelling at him for calling me Chibi. "aww you don't remember what happened ?" He says with aging his annoying voice. Why does he have to be here? Why can't Ane-San or Akutagawa be here instated of him? Cutting off my thoughts " if you really want to know what happened you got in to a fight with somebody and you loss control" Dazai said " huh why did I lose control" I say the confusion evident " I don't know why would I know i'm not you" not helping me what so ever. Trying to remember what happened the memory came back to me. I was was just about turn the corner that lead to an alleyway I see Shirase he was walking down the street on the other side of the street. Why him? I don't want to see a backstabber like him. I quickly walk into the alleyway hopefully he didn't see me I think to myself as I walk down the alleyway. Just as I was about to walk out of the alleyway someone grabs my hand stopping me for exiting the alleyway. " What the let me go " I say eyes still focused on the exit " hey Chuuya calm down " I remember that voice. I turn to face Shirase " What do you want " I just wanted to go home why did he need to stop me? " Chuuya please forgive me and the sheep we made a big mistake on betraying you " Shirase says while looking me in the eyes. " Tsk why would I forgive you and the sheep you guys betrayed my trust " I say as I pull my arm away from him. " Chuuya please we're sorry " Shirase say. " well sorry is not going to cut it " I turn away and start walking away. " This is why nobody likes you " Shirase say the anger evident in his voice. I look back at him and yell " what did you just say " Turning back to him and grabbing his shirt looking him dead in the eyes. " you heard what I said and it even true no one cares about you " he says looking down on me. Activating my ability I punch him in the face and yell " you don't know that ". " oh really I know that if you where to I don't know die no one would care lets face it's not one person likes you " how does he know? No he can't know hes just lying. His lying just like he lied to me saying that he cared about me. " people do care about me so stop lying " I say yelling back at him " oh yeah who then who cares about you " he say questioning me. I pause my voice wouldn't come out " see no one " he say proving his point. my voice still silent he continues " your no one not even your special "Ane San" cares about you she cares about kyouka more then she well ever care about you"  finally the words that were stuck in the back of my throat freed it self " shut up " was all I could manage out of my mouth before my ability activated its self because of the mixed and hurt emotions that over feel me. " of course your going to throw a tantrum just because you know i'm right " he say. These emotions their so confusing. Why is there so many emotions? Why i'm I so hurt by these words that normally mean nothing to me? Is it because it's coming from him? Is it because no one has had the guts to tell me? " just shut up I don't want to hear your annoying voice " I finally say as I snap out of my thoughts. " Or what you know i'm right so just face it " he say. " Let me take control " a voice in the back of my head says. " never " I say not wanting to give in to the voice. " I can make it go all away just let me take control " the voice asks again. " make what go away " I ask. " the pain, the emotions, the people just let me take control" the voice says. That's all I remember because after that I had blacked out. " Chuu~ya are you there" Dazai say waving his hand in front of my face. " Tsk leave me alone Dazai " I say I'm not in the mood to deal with him. " How rude I just wanted to be a good partner making sure your ok " he remarks with. " Ex partner " I say as I try to get up off the ground but I fall back and groan in pain. " yeah yeah I know I left the port mafia and stuff and so that makes me your ex partner but still I care about you " he says as he kneels down next to me. " Tsk yeah right I know your lying " I say the anger evident in my voice. Thinking back to it has Dazai ever told the truth to me? I look down noticing my leg had a pocket knife sticking out of my leg. " The person you were fighting stabbed you in self defense" Dazai said as he noticed me looking down at my leg. " Who asked you" I say as I feel Dazai's breath trickle down my neck realizing that he's to close to me. That thought causes me to redden in the face " huh why are you so close to me " I say. " Because I can Chuu~ya what do you like how close I I'm or something" he says in a teasing tone. " what no ew get away from me " I say looking away from him. " aww~ ok " he say the sadness in his voice. " Tsk what ever I need to go home " I say. But how I can't really go anywhere and plus I don't know where my phone is so I can't call Ane-San. " Hmm ok " Dazai says as he gets up and then ...... Picks me up. " wait what. what are you doing" I say as I squirm around in his arms. " Calm down Chuu~ya before you get blood every where" Dazai says as he walks over to a bench that I didn't even know was there. He gently laid me down and grabbed his spare bandages that he always has with him. Taking those bandages and starts wrapping my leg right above where the knife is sticking out of my leg. " Hey your wrapping the wrong  area " I say. " I know Chuu~ya " he says as he stops for a second holding the wrap in place and say " you might want to bite down on something " " what i'm I suppose to bite down on " I say the anger evident in my voice. "here" he say as he takes off his coat and places the sleeve of the coat in my mouth. Pausing for a moment " alright brace your self " he say before pulling the knife out of my leg. The pain was as if my leg on fire like it was burning it was as if someone ripped out the flesh in my leg. The pain being unbearable I start to tear up as I try to muffle my screams. Soon enough the pain in my leg start to die down final I open my eyes looking up at Dazai. "aww~ did that hurt you" Dazai say as he continues to wrap my leg traveling down my leg with the wrap. Once he finish wrapping my leg he picked me up carrying me bridle style letting me get comfortable in his arms and then soon enough I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.