A Special Someone for Christmas

Part 19: My Christmas cutie

Tae's POV

I wait in the silence for Kookie's response as Needy Tae grabs his teddy bear and curls in a ball under his corner chair. Why is Kookie not responding? We have had a wonderful day. The only explanation is he does not want to meet my family. Suddenly, I am finding it hard to breath. I turn and move toward my bedroom slowly as Needy Tae tells me to run and burst into tears. I will not do that. I will not be a victim or fall into dramatics. I tell Needy Tae to get off the floor and get in his chair. What the fuck, he ignores me and squeezes his teddy bear tighter.

I feel Kookie take my wrist. Slowly I turn towards him with a lowered head as Needy Tae raises his head as he senses some hope. Before Kookie speaks, I sense, Snippy Tae emerge. Snippy Tae can be brutal and reacts when I'm scared and hurt. I know him well. He is one step before Savage Tae, which Kookie became acquainted with on the flight. Snippy Tae is a protector. If he feels threatened, then Savage Tae will come out. Trust me. No one wants to see Savage Tae. Snippy Tae starts subtle to make his impact. Sarcasm is his weapon of choice.

"Kookie, it's okay. That's a bit fast. Meeting my family so soon. It's not like you said you wanted to be with me forever." Bam and that is Snippy Tae, going in for the gut punch. Which he thinks Kookie deserves because I am scared and hurt.

"Tae that's not fair." His voice trembles as he responds.

"Did you not say that Kookie? Are we not about to talk about how we will make this work? How we can be together long-term!" I bite my lip hard to hold back my hurt.

"Tae, please I'm sorry," Kookie pleads as I avoid his eyes. "I just got s-scared. You know, uh Christmas and family. I want to be with you, I really do. I just freaked out and wasn't sure what to say in the moment."

"How about yes Kookie! Maybe I was wrong...maybe..." I pull Snippy Tae back by his collar because threats are dangerous, and Kookie is being vulnerable with me. I send Snippy Tae to the corner that is becoming quite crowded.

"Tae no! Don't you walk away from this. Baby, please." He takes my hand and pulls me closer as I raise my head slowly and look into his eyes. His eyes always speak his truth. They are sincere and scared. This I know and trust. Honest and confident Tae returns and tells Needy Tae to cut his shit. He gets in his chair and hugs his teddy bear.

"Kookie, I know I'm right about you, but I'm scared too. I'm taking the biggest risk of my life here. I-I don't want to be hurt. I don't think I could survive it. I'm jump off a cliff here. Please don't let me jump alone. I'd be so crushed." He wraps his arms around me and hugs me like his life depends on it.

"Tae, we go over the cliff together. Understand?" He smiles and I squeeze him as if my life also depends on him.

"Kookie, please tell me again, you won't go."

"No Tae, I won't go. Please be patient with me Tae." His voice is strong.

Needy Tae has heard enough and is now setting up his trampoline as Snippy Tae rolls his eye. He can be a very salty bitch.

"Kookie, what happened? Why did you not respond?"

"Tae the Christmas brunch was wonderful. At first, I felt happy seeing all of the families with children but then I-I felt sad. I was reminded of what I lost. I was stuck thinking about those families and losing my parents when you asked about meeting your family. Of course, I want to meet them. I'm a bit scared, but I know I will like them because they are yours."

"Aww, Kookie. Thanks sweetie." Needy Tae is doing triple somersaults now. I hope Kookie allows me to support him to reach out to his father, but it has to be his choice and in his own time. It's Christmas. What time could be better.