Tay.
"We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all baggage underneath your..."
The flight attendant announced, but my mind was too preoccupied to process their words. My eyes are fixed outside the plane's window, watching the other passengers walk their way inside the next plane. Never did I think that I'll be doing something as ridiculous as this, going on spontaneous trips just to get away from something that I think my heart can no longer take.
I breathed through my nose as I remembered what Off said to me when I told him about my decision.
"That sounds stupid, but we both know how you need that"
I'm not sure when I realized that I finally need this breather. Maybe during those nights when insomnia was getting the best of my thoughts and I couldn't stop staring at the empty side of my bed you used to occupy a few months ago. It could be during those times when I am looking at things, foods and places we once shared and all I could think about was the moments we had together. Or it could be that week before your special day, when people started asking me questions, like what would I give to you as my present or how we'll be going to celebrate your day together this year. It sucks how easy their questions were, but I couldn't bring myself to answer them. I suddenly don't know how to.
I know that I've needed this for a long time now, but just had the courage to finally do it this time.
"Shoot"
I suddenly blurted, as I jolted when I felt a hand touch the top of my stomach. I instantly looked at the person sitting beside me and saw the surprised face of a woman looking directly at me. My eyes then traveled down her hands, which are currently holding the seatbelt on top of my stomach.
"Uhm, sorry. Did I startle you? I was trying to get your attention multiple times earlier, but you're not responding"
She said before removing her hands from the seatbelt. She fixes her seat before buckling her own seatbelt.
"I thought you're spacing out, and the flight attendant already announced multiple times to wear our seatbelts, the plane's about to take off, so I thought I have to help... you?"
She said, sounding unsure on the last part. The smile on her shows that she's genuinely telling the truth. I cleared my throat, fastened my own seatbelt, before giving her an apologetic smile.
"Are you okay?"
She asked, looking quite concerned. Funny how the question reminded me of someone, again.
The first time we met, I was the one who asked him if he was okay. It was his first working day. He was so aloof and quiet that time. He made me somehow curious and concerned, and I couldn't help but ask if he's really okay. That's when everything started, which I think I shouldn't really have done.
"I am. Thank you and sorry about earlier"
I told her. She just nodded and smiled, before looking at the book in his hand, I didn't notice earlier. It Ends With Us by Colleen Hoover.
"And as hard as this choice is, we break the pattern before the pattern breaks us"
A line I read from the same book, which was one of the many reasons that pushed me to where I am right now.
"You've read the book?"
I heard her ask. Did I just say that line out loud? I was too embarrassed to speak.
"Sorry, Am I being nosy?"
She asked, smiling awkwardly this time. My initial reaction was to shake my head.
