Of Loving and Living

The Reason Why I am Like This

When a guy and a girl best friends became lovers, people around them are happy. Heck, even people who only learns that the guy got out of the friendzone are happy.

People are fond of these types of stories. Boy meets girl, they become friends then they become best friends. After a few failed relationships, they would realize that their best friend is the one for them then they will get married and have a wonderful life. Isn't that great? People love this type of ending, though not all are happy.

What if the guy had girlfriend before he went for his best friend? What would happen to the girlfriend? Will she have a happy ending? Too bad in this story, I'm the girlfriend.

My boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend, broke up with me a few months ago. He said he needed some space. He said that I'm relying on him too much. He said that I need to grow on my own and that I can do it without him. But hell, who am I kidding? I need him in my life. I gave him everything he wanted yet he broke my heart. What's more painful here is a few weeks later, he got together with his best friend?! Like seriously? I thought you needed some space!

So here I am in bar, drinking with my friends. I want to drown this feelings I have for him. Fuck! I want to forget everything. I feel like I'm dying!

"Chels, this needs to stop. You have been drinking like shit for hours." My friend Brianna said.

"Come on Bri, just one more drink."

"This is not healthy. You are only hurting yourself. You're only making a fool out of yourself."

"Yada, yada! You always say that. Now shut up and give me that." I said the took the bottle of beer in her hand and drank it. Brianna gave me a long a look then left. I'm guessing she's going to the rest room or at the bar to get me more beer.

Since I don't have anyone to talk to, I fish out my phone and started cyber-stalking my ex and his new girl. How dare he moved on so fast?! Am I not that important to him?! I went to my messages and texted him, 'Fuck you asshole. You don't deserve girls like me.'

My phone beeped with a message from him.

'Fuck me? I don't deserve someone like you? Yeah, you're right. I don't deserve some worthless bitch who only thinks about herself. You think you're such a princess that no one should hurt. Well you are completely wrong.'

Another beep.

'PS. She's better than you.'

What the fuck?! This asshole is really asking for it. I wonder I have seen in him. Gosh! I've been blinded by love!

I was about to reply when someone grabbed my phone.

"Again Chelsea? I told you not to text him. You are only inflicting pain on yourself." Brianna said while holding my phone. She's also holding her keys on her other hand.

"What can I do? I'm bored so I texted him. I miss him so much. Why can't he love me again?"

"Haven't you read what he said? He's a fucking asshole that doesn't deserve any shit from you because you deserve more than him." Brianna said. "You know what, I'm blocking him off your life. Starting with this phone of yours."

I tried getting my phone but she's dodged it. The sudden movement made me dizzy. Ugh too much booze. I sat down on the chair and waited for Brianna.

"Done. Now let's get you home. You're one friggin drunkard." She helped me up and guided me to her car.

All throughout the car ride I was crying like a baby. The words he said stung my heart. It hit me big time. Worthless Bitch?! Like a Princess?! He was the one who started treating me like one. She's better than me?! Fuck it! What if I'm not size 2? That doesn't mean she's better than me. Is the waistline basis in loving someone?

"Hey Chels, we are here." Brianna said.

"Thanks, Bri! You can go home now." I replied.

"I was actually thinking of sleeping over. Want to watch some movies? I promise these are not chick flicks. We can watch cartoons while eating ice cream. Like the old times." Brianna proposed.

"But that will make me fat. You know my self esteem is already low, Bri."

"Come on, Chels. This is just a one time thing plus we need to celebrate."

"What are we celebrating?"

"Your freedom and the new you that's coming. He said she's better than you right? Then let's make him regret the things he said and we'll start tomorrow." Brianna said while smiling with her Chesire smile. Oh no! That smile only signifies one thing...trouble.

"I don't know if I can do it, Bri. Plus your smile creeps me out."

"Please Chelsea. This is not for me. It's for you. Plus I'm sick of seeing you like this. You look miserable and I hate that. Where's the girl I met on our first day of work? I don't see any resemblance of hers now except for the face."

"Fine. Just get your butt out of the car and on my couch now so we can watch some classic Tom & Jerry." I said while getting out of the car.

"Don't forget the Ben & Jerry's Ice cream." Chelsea said while holding a tub of our favorite ice cream.

The night passed by with us planning on how we can improve my physical appearance and watching our favorite cartoons. I felt like I was a kid again, happy and contented.

How I wish I could still feel this kind of happiness in the future. I hope our plan will work and I'll find my true happiness.