is this what love is?

2.

For a few days I can't think of anything but him.

His soft lips, his lively eyes, the feeling that I belong to somewhere.

I regret it so much.

But I don't care. I'm gonna get over it somehow, I'm gonna stay away from boys for sometime.

As I go to school I see him every now and then, but I ignore his gaze like it's air.

He doesn't try to approach me, which is good.

...

After a few weeks I see him with a new girl. A very beautiful girl I may add, Rebecca Hayes.

But I don't think I really care.

They're perfect for each other. Both live for parties and alcohol, both good looking...

Now, I'm not saying that I don't look good, they just got that aura around them that makes you stare a little.

I hope Jake got what he wanted.

And just when I was lost in my thoughts he walks past me in the hallway. Well, he doesn't. He stops right in front of me.

I look up and there he is. Standing like nothing is wrong.

"Hi."

I raise my chin and look at him closely.
He looks... happy?

"Um... hi", I reply a little confused.

"Good to see after a long time. I didn't come to catch up earlier since I thought you might still be angry."

"No, I'm not angry. Of course not", I succeed at smiling slightly.

He smiles back.

What the fuck is he on? We broke up. Why would you come and "catch up"? No one does that to their ex.
Especially not a person like Jake.

"Well, would you like to still keep on contact?"

No?

"Jake, what's wrong with you? We clearly broke up and not on very good terms."

"Nothing is wrong. I just think it would be great to stay as friends at least", he's still smiling as he says those words innocently.

Is he playing with me now?

"Well, I think not! I broke up with you 'cause I don't wanna be near you anymore and that's that!" without realizing I raise my voice, almost shouting.

I turn around angry as ever. What's wrong with me these days? I get angry so easily.

"Jen!" I hear Jake's voice behind me. I start walking away ignoring the stares i get.

My leaving wasn't as confident as I wished it would be as I run into someone.
It's a senior.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" he immediately helps me up.

"No, no I should be the one saying sorry. Did I mess up your clothes or something?"

"You didn't. It's alright."

I notice him still holding my hand. He notices it too and quickly lets go.
"Are you senior? I don't think I've seen you before."

"Oh, I'm junior", I reply, knowing he's a senior. For whatever reason I wish he was a junior too.

As I look more closely at him, I notice he's actually quite good looking.

Not the same way as Jake. This guy looks more mature. He's tall, blonde and has brown eyes. Simply handsome.

"Junior? You look older. What's your name?"

"Jennifer- I mean Jen, just Jen", I hardly get the words out of my mouth when he looks at me like that, like he's actually interested.

"Okay, gotta remember that. I'm Ethan by the way."

And... he's gone just like that.

"Gurll! Who was that? Such a handsome man!!" I hear Celia's loud voice.

"Well hello to you too", I laugh sligthly and notice Vivie behind her. "He's no one, we just bumped into each other."

"He might be no one now, but in the future..."

"Yeah, yeah whatever", I laugh again. Celia is such a silly girl sometimes. I will probably never even see him again.

"What did he want by the way? You seemed kinda angry", Vivie asks in a low voice as she nods towards Jake who seems busy flirting with Rebecca.

"Oh, him? I have no idea. He asked if I wanted to keep in contact. It seems like he's playing some kind of game", I snort.

"Once a player, always a player."

"Dickhead."

"But he's all in the past, let's worry about something else!" I exclaim happily.

"Let's worry about you hitting on that blonde!"

"Celia! Volume down!"

But I do think about it. Is it possible that he's a player like Jake? Very much yes. Should I try? I don't know.